#black wicker seating

[deshiknaves]

Deck Roof Extensions Example of a mountain style backyard deck design with a roof extension

[danielaprice]

Bedroom Master A picture of a medium-sized beach-style master bedroom with a dark wood floor, white walls, a regular fireplace, and a stone fireplace.

[private-dolls]

Deck Uncovered in Minneapolis Deck - large transitional backyard deck idea with no cover

[pixelsnpaper]

Tile in New York Patio - huge contemporary backyard tile patio idea with a fire pit and no cover

[bryancailyn]

Bedroom Master A picture of a medium-sized beach-style master bedroom with a dark wood floor, white walls, a regular fireplace, and a stone fireplace.

[harryspet]

well kept [3] r. cameron

[warnings] dark!ceo!rafe x reader, size difference, billionaire!older!rafe, shy!reader with low self-esteem, reader is a person who stutters, boss x personal assistant, heavy abuse of power, emotional/mental manipulation, DUBCON, little editing, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK 18+

A/N: Pls reblog and let me know what you think! Thank you so much for all the feedback so far :)

word count: 4.5k

In which it's your first day working from home with Rafe and you have a new lesson to learn.

well kept masterlist

The Cameron residence was fifteen minutes outside of downtown Charlotte and situated in a large neighborhood where hills and huge oak trees hid all the houses. You didn’t really see his house, only what you could tell was large pond, until the driver was at the end of the mile-long driveway.  When you did, you felt woefully underdressed. Assuming that being inside all day meant you could opt for something casual, you’d chosen a cream knit dress. 

Following Rafe’s instructions, you sent him photos of each outfit you tried on, but he hadn’t told you which ones you could return. It was another blow to your confidence. You began to doubt whether he’d even been serious, but the fear that he might mention it the next day kept you from taking any chances.

Stepping out of the black Escalade, your eyes widened as you took in the architectural masterpiece before you. The house was a striking blend of traditional and modern styles, with a light-colored exterior contrasted by dark shutters framing the windows. A stone chimney rose from the roof, and the three-car garage with wooden doors added a rustic touch.

After your car drove away, a tall and impeccably dressed staff member named Anthony guided you up the stone-paved driveway. From your cheat sheet, you recalled that he was the House Manager. Rafe required a full team: Anthony, two housekeepers, a private chef, a driver, a gardener, and now you—his personal assistant. The inside of the house was as intimidating as the exterior. The expansive foyer featured high ceilings and a grand staircase that curved up to the second floor. To the left, you caught a glimpse of the formal dining room. Each room you passed was more impressive than the last. Anthony informed you that there were six bedrooms and eight bathrooms.

“I don’t usually work on Fridays but Mr. Cameron wanted me to give you a tour of the house and show you the ropes of house management. It’ll be important for you to be able to oversee the staff when I’m absent and understand the scheduling.”

Once again, it was all too much to take in. Today was your fifth day working for Rafe, and you’d barely survived until now. 

“I want to clarify that what happened yesterday stays between us. That includes Eleanor. Okay?”

That was all he said about his outburst. There was no apology for groping you, for pinning you down on his office couch, or for taking your virginity. If you were to tell the story, you’d have to mention how your body had betrayed you—not once, but twice. But you had said no. You didn’t want to use the word that described what happened to you. You didn’t want to think about it at all.

And it didn’t happen again—not over the next three days. He continued to be harsh, forcing you to apologize for every small mistake, even those you weren’t aware of.

As you followed Anthony through the expansive kitchen, you couldn't help but marvel at its sheer size and sophistication. The kitchen was a chef's dream, with gleaming marble countertops that seemed to stretch endlessly, state-of-the-art stainless steel appliances, and custom cabinetry in a rich, dark wood finish. An oversized island dominated the center of the room.

At the far end of the kitchen, massive glass-paneled doors stood, offering a glimpse of the world beyond. The porch was furnished with elegant wicker seating with plush cushions. The space was perfect for elegant parties, with enough room to accommodate at least a dozen guests.

Beyond the porch was a stunning infinity pool stretched out towards the horizon. As you walked closer, to the right, you took notice of a garden. You spotted the gardener, Tyler, who Anthony had mentioned earlier. In simple clothes, the young man blended easily into the scenery. 

“This is where Mr. Cameron will typically entertain his guests,” Anthony said, 

The beauty of the outdoor space was undeniable, but so was the control that permeated every aspect of it. You wondered what hand Rafe played in how spotless it looked. You could almost picture him, his jaw clenched and eyes blazing with a harsh intensity, if even the smallest detail were out of place. It was easy to imagine him demanding that every leaf, every petal, every stone be exactly where it belonged. 

Did his staff ever make mistakes? Did he make them beg him forgiveness like he did with you? 

“Shall I show you the study? It’s approaching seven-thirty.”

You nodded, a small smile on your lips. He was kind but part of you didn’t want him to hear your voice shake or your face contort into an uncomfortable position as you struggled to get your words out. 

There would be enough struggling today, you knew that. 

Surprisingly, Rafe’s home office was more quaint than you expected. Dark wood panneling decorated the walls as well as floor-to-celing bookshelves. As you made your way around the room, you took note of the picture frames containing images of what you believed to be his family. Here, it seemed he had a heart. The four of them stood on a dock, sun shining down, and his arms were wrapped a young girl with dark brown hair. His smile was genuine and there was darkness lingering in the blues of his eyes. 

Other than the bookshelves, the room only contained his desk, a set of leather couches and a coffee table. The smaller room still managed to exude sophistication but it was far less imposing than you expected. 

The room almost felt intimate as sunlight trickled in through light colored curtains. You were standing behind his desk, glancing out his office window which faced towards the nearby pond. Beside it, sat a gazebo, although you couldn’t imagine Rafe enjoying it. You wondered if he lived here alone as you saw no traces of the other three people in his family photo. 

“Boo,” You yelped as you heard Rafe’s deep voice. 

You placed a hand over your beating heart as you looked toward where he stood in the doorway. Having been deep in thought, you hadn’t heard the door opened. He knew that much which explained the amused look in his eye.  

Everything flooded back at the sight of him. The air had already left your lungs. You felt his body pressing down on yours, warm breath against your ears, and that pain between your legs. 

The door clicked shut, making you flinch.

“Good morning,” he said, his gaze fixed on you.

It hit you then, you hadn’t greeted him like you were supposed to.

You were taken aback by his appearance. He was wearing gray sweatpants and a plain navy t-shirt, a stark contrast to your heels and carefully applied makeup. You weren’t sure why you were expected to dress up, especially when he looked so casual.

“G-Good morning, Sir,” You crossed the room, his eyes locked on yours. You remembered where he liked you, near the door, ready to greet him and present yourself to him. You hated how your voice always betrayed you, how weak it made you sound. Your only saving grace was that you’d already memorized his schedule for the day, having spent the entire commute looking at your laptop. You recited it to him, including the midday Zoom call he had with Kelce and Topper.

Topper, you had learned, was Eleanor’s husband. Rafe hadn’t ever touched her but the way Eleanor always answered your questions with vague responses made you suspect that her relationship with Topper mirrored your own with Rafe. She hadn’t warned you but now you were suspecting that was because Rafe seemed to always get what he wanted, no matter who got hurt in the process.

You froze the moment his hand reached out to touch you. His fingers curled around your side, hovering just above your stomach but dangerously close to your breasts. His grip was surprisingly gentle as his thumb grazed over the fabric of your dress. You stiffened as his other hand mirrored the first, sliding across to the opposite side of your body. “Eleanor picked this,” he murmured, his brows knitting together as his gaze slowly traveled down your figure. A jolt shot through you as his thumb brushed over your nipple, sending a wave of panic coursing through you.

“Y-You don’t like it?” you stammered, your voice barely above a whisper. 

He clicked his tongue, “Turn around for me.”

You did as he said, “Doesn’t do enough for your figure,” Your heart panged in your chest, suddenly feeling self-conscious of your own shape, “Are you wearing the panties I sent you?”

All you could do was nod. Rafe never commanded you to wear the panties everyday to work but you didn’t risk it. Luckily, they were all comfortable despite the lace and cheekiness. 

“Pull up your dress,” He said next. 

You’d spent the last three days in a fog, trying to make sense of the situation, trying to understand why your body betrayed you. When you were younger, you always asked the universe why you couldn’t speak like the way all your friends at school did. Now you asked the universe why Rafe’s voice made you want to clench your thighs together. Why you had felt empty ever since he’d finished inside of you. Why you wanted to try again, to experience that intimacy again without so much fear. Your life was so simple before but now it felt like it was too late to turn back. 

Your thoughts were too jumbled. Rafe cleared his throat and you realized you were just staring back, “I’m not gonna fuck you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“Please-”

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t make me ask again.”

You squared your shoulders. “I’m nnn-nn-not comfortable—”

“Just do it.”

You reached down to the edges of your dress, slowly pulling the fabric to your waist. It was nothing he hadn’t already seen and yet you were shaking, “Turn around. Face the other way.” Like a robot, you obeyed. You’d chosen a light pink color today. 

“Good,” You felt him against you. He pulled your hair back over your shoulder and leaned down against your ear, “Maybe I should make you walk around naked while you’re here, hmm?”

You bit down on your lip, wanting to contain the protest that was about to leave your mouth. You wanted to lean into his touch, to embrace the comfort that would accompany the torture. He brushed past you just as you tilted your head back, “Go make me a coffee,” He commanded. 

He made his way behind his desk and you reached down to move your dress, “Did I say to pull your dress down?”

“N-No, Sir,” You moved your hands quickly to your sides.

“I could make you walk around like that, couldn’t I?” He asked, leaning back in his chair.

He tilted his head and you realized you needed to answer. You gave him a painful look. You could say no but what would it cost you, “I . . . I don’t know,” He wasn’t satisfied by your answer, clearly. It was torture to force the words out, “Y-Yes.”

“Right answer,” He said, “Pull down your dress, sweetheart.”

You couldn’t help but see the irony in the fact that despite that you upgraded to a salaried job, you were still making coffee for the rich and spoiled. The opulent kitchen had an even fancier coffee machine than his office. Your movements as you prepared his steaming mug of coffee were precise despite the turmoil in your mind. 

Searching for solutions, your mind landed on the idea of trying to assert your competence. Sure, you could make a great cup of coffee but the whole point of getting a real job was so that you could have real skills to market yourself. You could be perfect at this job, anticipate his every need, and you could more than an object to look at. 

You re-entered his office quietly after realizing he’d begun his first meeting of the day. Carefully, you set his coffee down on the edge of his desk. He was always so intense, so completely absorbed in his work, and that unwavering focus made you even more anxious. Maybe that’s how you should be, more composed, projecting an air of confidence.

Unsure of where you should settle, you made yourself comfortable on one of the leather couches. You checked your email on your laptop, finding several reminders from Eleanor. You found yourself frustrated by how she picked and chose what information to share with you but you balanced those feelings with the fact that she was often your saving grace. 

She gave you a list of tasks including arranging for a delivery of documents that needed to be signed by Rafe, confirming his dinner reservations for the night, and proofreading the notes you took from yesterday’s meetings. You told yourself by the end of the next week, you’d be able to handle things by yourself, and you wouldn’t have to lean on her so much. You’d have a day, eventually, where Rafe didn’t point out anything you did wrong. 

“I was thinking-” Rafe’s voice cut through the silence. You were so focused that you hand’t realized his meeting had ended. He folded his hands over each other, his eyes on you, “From now on, I want you to wear what I pick for you each day.”

“How …y-you’re not happy with what I’ve been choosing?”

“It’s not about not being happy. Now I have more of an idea of what I like on you,” His voice was smooth and authoritative, “You want to reflect my taste, my standards, yeah?”

You mustered the courage to ask your next question, “Can I-I dress a l-little less … formally when I work at home with you?”

“Less formally?” He tasted the words on his tongue, “You mean, like more casual?”

“Yes, Sss-sir. Like more comfortable.”

“We could experiment with that,” His tone was deceptively light, “On my terms though. Yeah?”

You nodded and were grateful that he hadn’t reacted lightly. He seemed to enjoy that you were asking him for permission.

“You’ll have to wear something different tonight though, for dinner. Eleanor is coming by towards the end of the day to bring you your outfit and take you to get your nails done.” 

“Oh,” Your eyes opened wide, “I-I thh-thhought it was more of a personal-”

“I won’t keep you out forever,” He said, “You got plans or something?”

You shook your head quickly, “No, Sir.”

Rafe worked through lunchtime, so you brought him the meal prepared by his chef, Stevie—an elegant older woman with blonde hair. She had made a pesto pasta salad that looked like it belonged in a gourmet magazine, despite your protests and insistence on eating your own packed lunch. Only after delivering the meal did Rafe grant you permission to take your break elsewhere.

You settled on the outdoor patio by the pool, enjoying the peacefulness of the space despite the distant, steady hum of a lawnmower. For a moment, you didn’t feel out of place. Your dress, though apparently unflattering to your figure, was worth a small fortune, and the gourmet lunch you were now enjoying was a far cry from the PB&J you’d packed.

Thirty minutes later, after finishing your lunch and enjoying a lengthy chat with Stevie, you reluctantly headed back upstairs. Hearing Rafe still on the phone, you decided to explore a bit more. His office was situated in the private wing of his house, and as you meandered through opulent corridors, you couldn’t resist sneaking a glance into the master bedroom. It was cozier than you had anticipated, with tall gray walls that gave it a masculine feel and a plush bed draped in navy linen blanket that created a snug, cocoon-like atmosphere.

Rafe ended his call a minute later and the afternoon wore on. You settled into a rhythm, completing the various tasks that you’d added to your own to do lists and ones he’d assigned to you. You spent some time organizing files in his office. His gaze burned into you, even more when you were turned around, and surprisingly, you were starting to get used to that unnerving feeling. 

He waited for you to make a mistake but you used a hundred-percent of your effort to make sure that didn’t happen. 

The clock inched towards the evening, and the day grew even more quieter, more intimate. “I was looking over your notes from yesterday’s meeting with the board members. I highlighted some sections for you to read back to me,” He waved you over, his voice gruff after a long day of talking. You joined him behind his desk and you moved to lean over and get closer look, but he placed a hand on your hip. The gesture was firm, possessive, leaving no room for hesitation. With effortless strength, like a wolf guiding its prey, he maneuvered you onto his lap, settling you on his thigh. You felt the power in his grip, the unspoken control, and all you could do was comply.

“Rafe–” You started, an desperate attempt at a protest. 

“Start with the first section,” He commanded, his grip tightening. 

“I’ve been working on proofreading them–”

“Sweetheart,” He warned, not needing to add that you were making him angry. You could feel it, the heat coming off of him. 

You took a deep breath and slowly tried to read each sentence. Even if you didn’t have a sentence with a small typo, you still stammered over several of your words. He slid the chair closer to the desk and you yelped. 

“See right here,” He pointed to the screen but that only pressed him into you. You breathed slowly, trying not to hyperventilate, “This whole section needs more detail. I don’t want to have to ask more information.”

You were taken aback when Rafe actually began to instruct you on what you were meant to do. He spent at least ten minutes walking you through each sentence, explaining how to word your report, and deleted all the unnecessary details you added. He was surprisingly patient. 

“Now, your turn,” he said finally, leaning back in the chair. For a moment, you thought he was letting you up, but the pressure of his hand on your waist told you otherwise. “Fix it.”

You swallowed, hesitating as your fingers hovered over the keys. Ever keystroke was amplified in the quiet room. Doing your best to actually use your brain, you carefully made the changes he suggested. He watched you closely, his hands first placed on your hips but soon one wandered between your thighs. 

“Good,” He said. You could do it again, you thought, and not be so scared. His touch was teasing, a reminder of what he could do to you, all the pressure that built inside of you a spilled over. You could impress him, you could be beautiful, and not turn into a crying mess when he was inside of you. You could be more than a fragile thing to be broken.

Each word was a small victory. It was a battle you thought you could win until his fingers slipped inside your panties and his other hand grabbed a handful of one of your breasts. It was unbearable, and as he made small circles, you found your fingers slipping clumsily over the keys. 

You pressed your palms into his desk, your body tilting forward. A frustrated sigh left your lips, you couldn’t contain it, and Rafe’s chuckle rumbled from behind you, “Do you ever touch yourself like this? Be honest with me this time.”

“Y-Yes,” You whispered. 

“How do you do it?” He pulled you away from the desk, pulling your torso against his, “You use a toy?”

“J-Just my fff-fingers,” You admitted. 

“Like this? How do you like it?” Carefully, he switched between different approaches. He rubbed circles over your clit, smaller ones and then slower, bigger ones. Then he stroked you up and down, fingers slipping easily into your warm hole as he wandered lower, “You put those little fingers inside of you?”

“Rafe, please.”

“Tell me,” He kissed the side of your neck, “Or I’ll stop.”

"I-I don't usually put them inside… ," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper. "I always use my pillow…”

He hummed against your ear. "See how much better this is when you cooperate? You can be such a good little assistant when you try."

You nodded, unable to speak, and let the feeling consume you. He brought you right to the edge, you were seconds away coming undone, but his movements slowed. Before you could register the feeling as disappointment, Rafe was hoisting you off of his lap. 

Moving with sudden determination, your feet were suddenly off the ground and Rafe was carrying you out of the room in his strong arms, “Rafe!” You clutched his shoulders as he carried you down the hall.

You turned your head as he nudged the bedroom door open with his foot, the heavy thud of the door slamming shut reverberating through the room. With a swift motion, he laid you gently on the bed. The softness beneath you was just as you had imagined, but the thought barely registered. You shot him an incredulous look, your face flushed with a mix of pleasure and frustration.

He leaned over you, grabbing a pillow from behind you and placing it in front of you, “Show me.”

You shook your head instantly and moved to crawl away. Somehow, you could let all of his other sleazy behavior slide by but this was an insane boundary for him to try to cross. He’d already been inside you and yet this was a thousand times more intimate. 

He grabbed ahold of your thigh, “You’re so close, sweetheart. I know you want it,” He challenged you, “Probably feels like you need it.”

“Please,” You tried, your voice threatening to crack. His hands found your hips again, slowly positionin you over the pillow. The soft fabric brushed against your most sensitive spot, the familiar sensation making you bite down on your bottom lip, “Rafe.”

“You saying my name like that just makes me want it more,” Balancing on his knees, he grabbed ahold of your face and leaned in to kiss you. You felt the intensity of his desire, how much he wanted this, and it left you dizzy. 

When he pulled back, he looked over you. Your hips started moving in a familiar motion despite your embarrassment. You trembled from the vulnerability, the pounding in your chest, but you chased that high he gave you. It ignited your fire again, and since you didn’t have the full force of his touch anymore, you focused your eyes on him, “Good girl,” He said again and you whimpered, “Look at me just like that.”

You rolled your hips harder, faster, imagining his kiss, his touch, as the tension coiled tighter inside you. His gaze never left yours, his words a constant stream of encouragement and control.

“Doesn’t that feel good?” 

His words all jumbled together. 

“Just let it happen.”

“I want to see your face when you cum, sweetheart.”

“You look so desperate.”

“So needy.”

“You’re gonna make yourself cum, huh?”

“Just because I told you too.”

“Such a good girl.”

“Look at you.” 

The words pushed you over the edge, finally, and you were able to let go. He watched as you rode out that wave of pleasure and his hands found your body again, his grip grounding you. “Fuck,” You heard him say but you couldn’t respond. 

You were too overwhelmed to respond, your mind unable to fully process what had just happened. All you knew was that you felt good, embarrassed, and strangely satisfied that you'd pleased him, all at once. 

When you manage to look at him again, the doorbell rang. 

Eleanor navigated through the upscale nail salon, a palace of white and silvers, with ease, like she was a regular, and this was just an extension of her universe. You imagined this place as an escape for her, from both Rafe and Topper. She secured side-by-side seats near the back of the salon and you followed her lead as she set down her purse and removed her sandals. Her movements were fluid and assured. 

“Have you thought about what color you want?”

“Oh, um, n-no,” You tried to make yourself comfortable in the pedicure chair, “What d-do you think Rafe would like?”

“Maybe something pastel. You can’t go wrong with a soft pink.”

“Is that what you’re getting?” You asked, unassured, as you glanced around the luxurious setting. It wasns’t like other nail salons you’d been to where the technicians and customers talked at whatever volume they liked. It was quiet and each technician wore matching black uniforms. 

“I’ll tell them you want ballet slipper on your nails and white on your toes.”

You nodded, grateful for her guidance, “Thank you.”

As your pedicures began, the warm lavender-scented water soaking your feet, two technicians took their places by your sides, working silently as they filed your nails. 

“How are you holding up?” Eleanor asked.

“Fff-fine,” You said, “I’m trying to . . . t-to understand him, I guess.”

“You’ll go crazy doing that,” She laughed lightly, flashing a look that said “poor you”. 

“How d-did you meet Topper?” Her face tightened at your question, “I mean, y-you didn’t say.”

“I’m from the same town as them, Rafe and Topper. Not really the same town, my parents didn’t have money growing up. But I worked at the country club they all went to. That’s how I met Topper.”

“And you started dating?”

“Something like that,” She made a small shrug, “I owe everything I have to them.”

You nodded, sensing the weight of her words despite the lack of detail. Another piece to the puzzle you were trying to put together. Maybe the two of them had an attraction to girls struggling to get by.

“It’s not so bad, is it?” She asked and it made you pause.

Your instinct was to mirror her shrug, but you hesitated, wondering if you could trust her with your thoughts. If anyone could understand what you were going through, it had to be Eleanor.  “I-I just ffff-ffeel like I’m doing everything wrong.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve only heard good things.”

“A-About me?” She nodded and your lips parted in shock. 

“Yes. I know you feel uncertain right now, but I think you'll be glad if you can stick it out. Topper… he’s a bastard, but he takes care of me. Rafe likes you too. Maybe he doesn’t know how to show it, but…” She paused, her eyes flickering with something you couldn’t quite place. “He’s filthy rich. That would be enough for me.”

In that moment, her brutal honesty felt almost like reassurance. You weren’t sure if Eleanor truly grasped the extent of Rafe’s inability to show affection, that his pleasure came from humiliating you, from making you cry. Just as you couldn’t fully know what she endured with Topper. Her words weren't necessarily comforting but at least they felt real.

Please reblog WITH your thoughts on the chapter to be added to the taglist for the story :)

[oleg-rybak]

Deck Uncovered in Minneapolis Deck - large transitional backyard deck idea with no cover

[xjongin]

Contemporary Pool - Hot Tub

[illyrianbitch]

One Summer — Part Four

Pairing: Reader x Azriel

Summary: One beach house. One festival. One summer to fall in love.

Warnings: drug usage (marijuana), lil anxiety thoughts about the looming future, reader is a sentimentalist, az & reader smoking in the summer night air

Word Count: 2.1k

Previous Part | Series Masterlist | Next Part

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

The ache in your muscles, despite how irritating, was a good one. 

You welcomed it as you sat down on the balcony, settling into a white wicker chair with a beige pillow. The chair was worn, discolored in some areas and peeling apart in others, and that fact made it seem even more inviting to you. There was a sense of life in every corner of this house, remnants of love that manifested in the old furniture and sentimental decorations. It made you feel closer to your friends, made you feel like you were making your own memories here, too. 

The ocean breeze smelled especially refreshing with the night breeze that accompanied it. You let your eyes fall shut as the gentle air weaved itself through the loose strands of your hair, pulling goosebumps from deep under your skin. From where you sat, you could hear the muffled sounds of laughter and conversation from the kitchen. You smiled at the noise.

Truth be told, the first day of the festival had drained your energy more quickly than you’d expected. While your social battery was bound to grow over the next few weeks, this peace, this moment of solitude, was desperately needed now. Even still, you appreciated feeling close to everyone despite the physical distance. You made a mental note to thank Rhys and Mor once more for placing you in this bedroom.

Your mind was slow, ears still slightly ringing from the loud speakers, and your thoughts drifted from the events of today to ones that felt much heavier, much more contemplative. 

Moments from today replayed in your mind: the first set of the afternoon, securing barricade for four artists, the way that Cassian befriended everyone in the crowd, how Azriel swayed to the music and smiled when you’d meet his eye. Each one glowed with a sense of permanence you wished you could grasp. You could, in a sense, make sure these moments never left.

If you followed through with the plan, you’d all be in the same city after graduation, sharing even more of these moments. There could be countless, maybe even hundreds, more. 

A flicker of guilt sparked in your stomach. 

It felt almost wrong to be preoccupied with this sour sense of sadness when the present was still here— how foolish of you to already already be grieving for a moment that hadn’t yet ended. You’d gotten home barely an hour ago. Your friends were still downstairs.

A shadow danced across the porch and you jumped. 

You turned, and Azriel stood there, his figure illuminated by the faint glow of his bedroom lamp. A nervous laugh escaped you, and you muttered his name in recognition. Azriel lifted an awkward hand in apology, his mouth curling into a tight lipped smile.

"My bad," he murmured, "Didn't mean to sneak up on you."

He’d just stepped out of the shower, damp curls clinging to his forehead and a faint scent of soap on his skin. You let your eyes wander for a fleeting second, taking in his simple outfit: a loose black shirt and a pair of sweat shorts that looked criminally good on him. He’d gotten even tanner since your arrival here, and it seemed as if the harsh sun of today had also left him with a fresh sunkissed glow. 

You gave him a small side smile, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Don't worry about it. I'm just jumpy and you're really quiet. I’m serious."

"I'll invest in a cat collar. Complete with a bell and everything."

You chuckled at the mental image. Azriel paused, studying you for a moment from where he stood. After clearing his throat, he gave you a small nod. You watched with a frown as he turned and headed back to his room.

"Wait," you said, pushing yourself to the edge of your seat. Azriel stopped at his door, turning to look over at you as you continued. "Why are you leaving?"

A crease formed between his brows and you watched as his gaze bounced between you, the table in front of you, the ocean-view, and back.  "You were out here first."

"It's your balcony too."

Another pause. His chest rose with even breaths.

"I don’t want to bother you."

You shook your head. "Stay." You offered him a smile— an invitation. "If you'd like. I always appreciate your company."

You felt inclined to tell him that he never bothered you, that you craved his presence more often than you’d like to admit. There was something so calming about Azriel, something so familiar. It made you sad to think about the time you’d lost with him, how much stronger your friendship could’ve been by now. And then you felt guilty for feeling sad about such a thing, because that time lost with him was time gained with Eris. 

Azriel seemed to think about it for a moment, his eyes dropping to the ground, dark lashes brushing against his cheeks. 

"Yeah, sure,” he said, “I'd love to."

He pulled a chair from his side of the porch and sat across from you.

You felt his eyes on you as you placed your phone down and pulled a small container from your pocket. You knew it was a bit cliche— the Altoids container holding various shitty pre-rolled joints– but it worked like a charm and you always did love the classics.

Azriel’s gaze lingered as you brought the joint to your lips and lit it. When the courage finally found you, you offered it to him with an outstretched hand. His eyes dropped to your fingers.

"Would you like some?"

His lips curved slightly and a warm look appeared in his eyes. He leaned forward, hands carefully plucking it from yours.

“Thank you,” Azriel said softly, his voice nearly swallowed by the sound of the ocean waves. He met your gaze and a smile slowly grew on his lips, as if he was offering it to you in return for the joint.

You gazed out, admiring the moonlit waves and the soothing rhythm of the ocean, fingers absentmindedly playing with the lighter in your hand. Glancing down, you traced the polymer clay sleeve that adorned it, a piece you’d crafted during a girls’ night. Feyre had found a video showing how to make it, and while her and Mor’s lighters were more decorative than functional, the memory warmed your chest with something bright. 

“You okay?”

Azriel’s eyes were soft when you met them, inquisitive like a tender animal. Even in this dim light, with half of his face illuminated by his bedroom’s light and the other half by the moon, you’d never seen anything quite as striking. You chewed over your words for a moment— thinking, choosing which felt best on the tip of your tongue.

“Yeah. I’m just thinking.”

His eyes narrowed and a small crease settled between his brows. An urge bit at you to trace your finger along it. He handed the joint back to you. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell him anything nearer to the truth. You were thinking. That was true. But Azriel didn’t need to know about what. You wouldn’t be able to explain it if you tried.

Today was good. Your limbs were heavy and there was a small sunburn on the tip of your nose, but it was good— great. You took a deep breath and pulled yourself from the hands of the future, away from its sweaty, iron grip, and focused on Azriel’s eyes.

He nodded and you could’ve sworn he read your mind, that he knew where you’d pulled your mind back from. But he said nothing and you thanked him with a quick, small smile. 

A comfortable silence settled over you both. The noise from downstairs had quieted down as everyone made their way to bed and the gentle echoes of their laughter had begun to fade into the night. You’d brought a small speaker out with you, and the music from it softly filled the now quieted spaces, blending seamlessly with the sounds of the ocean. You watched the waves against the sand, breathing in the fresh breeze that now mingled with the familiar scent of earth that surrounded you and Az. Neither of you exchanged any words as you gently traded the dwindling joint back and forth.

He beckoned towards your speaker with his chin, turning his head to you before his eyes followed the movement. "Is this tomorrow's lineup?"

You nodded, letting out a smooth exhale and watching as a cloud of smoke floated into the air. "I like listening to every artist just to get an idea of what they sound like."

You wouldn't be hearing many of the artists that were playing through your speakers. You all had meticulously mapped out the daily festival schedules, poring over the list of artists to agree on a which to see. Each person had their own preferences so there was a game plan in place: which sets you’d all battle for the barricade, which performances you’d catch while casually wandering, and what times you'd explore other activities or grab food. There was even a strategy for when to get even more hammered, as Mor had so delicately put it.

The schedule had worked perfectly today. 

"Smart," Azriel said, grabbing the joint from your outstretched hand. His fingers brushed against yours and a small chill ran through your skin. "I do that too."

You smiled, watching as he brought the joint to his lips and took a small drag. The action itself was so graceful, so effortlessly elegant that it seemed almost sinful to watch. Your gaze lingered on his lips for a moment too long before he was looking at you, offering it back to you.

You savored the final few puffs, embers glowing softly as you moved your head in rhythm with the song currently playing. The vocals faded, giving way to a stunning guitar riff that seemed to surge through you like a physical force. Azriel's face lit up and you exchanged a glance.

"Wait," you murmured, grabbing your phone. "I really like this."

You adjusted the volume, settling back into your chair as the music swelled around you.

"They're playing tomorrow?" Azriel asked, leaning towards you. 

"Yeah." You glanced at the band's profile on your phone— they were relatively small compared to the other sets tomorrow. "I bet this would be great live."

Azriel turned to you with a thoughtful look. "Let's find out."

"We already have the sets for tomorrow planned, though."

He shrugged, a playful glint in his eyes. "So?"

You frowned, shifting in your seat as you locked your phone and placed it back in your lap. "They’re not going to change their plan."

Azriel hummed in contemplation— a small, low rumble in the back of his throat. "They don’t have to. We can go by ourselves.”

You blinked at him, feeling your eyebrows raise as you considered the idea. You felt giddy at the notion that spending time with you alone was something desirable to him— fun, even.

Azriel leaned in closer, his eyes scanning your face with a playful intensity. They were heavy lidded now, the whites of his eyes red from the high. "I think they’ll survive without us for an hour, Y/n."

Your name on his lips felt like a soft caress and, for a moment, you understood why even the most steadfast of saints could be swayed by the sweet whispers of sinners. If he said your name again just as tenderly, as kind, as soft, you’d agree in a heartbeat. 

“I know,” you murmured. “But I don’t think they’ll want us to miss one of the bigger sets.”

"Well what do you want?"

The way he asked, with that casual yet earnest tone, made the choice seem somehow more significant than it was. You looked at Azriel, down at your phone, and back at him again. "I’d love to hear them in person."

He nodded in agreement, a damp curl bouncing with the movement, and a dimpled smile found its way onto his face.

"Let’s see them tomorrow, then."

Your cheeks began to ache with the strain of a smile—  a gentle tugging at the corners of your lips. A warm, tingling sensation spread across your face. “You sure you want to hear them too?”

Amusement glistened in Az’s eyes as they scanned your face. Your stomach fluttered, each beat feeling lighter than usual.

“Yeah,” he said, still smiling. “I really do.”

You leaned back into your chair, watching as Azriel settled in, his eyes closing as he relaxed. You followed his lead, starting to play more tracks from the band. As the music filled the space, you let yourself sink into the chair, letting the sounds blend with the quiet of the night.

✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹

authors note: im a bit biased as a stoner girly but when i tell u those late night moments smoking w someone r sooo intimate. i love them ur honor i truly do

permanent tag list 🫶🏻: 

@rhysandorian @itsswritten @milswrites @lilah-asteria @georgiadixon 

@glam-targaryen @cheneyq @darkbloodsly @pit-and-the-pen @azrielsbbg

@evergreenlark @marina468 @azriels-human @panther-girl-124 @bubybubsters 

@starswholistenanddreamsanswered @feyretopia  @ninthcircleofprythian @velariscalling @azrielrot

@justyouraveragekleemain @marigold-morelli @mrsjna @anarchiii @alittlelostalittlefound

@melissat1254

@m4tthewmurd0ck @beardburnsupersoldiers @isnotwhatyourethinking @tothestarsandwhateverend  @micahssketchbook

thank you for reading 🫶🏻

[01zfan]

bambi | j. sc

rapper!sungchan x stalker!reader | 10k words

FIRST INSTALLMENT OF MY SERIEZ WHO CHEERED? anyways THIS is the darkest thing i’ve ever written. like this bitch is crazy omg! sungchan in this universe makes music like the album Nowhere by DUCKWRTH featuring The Kickdrums. i specifically listened to indica la roux on that album while writing this.

contains: stalking, references to a toxic relationship, physical violence (reader gets into a brief altercation with someone), jealousy, angry/rough sex, sungchan is disgusted by the reader a little bit!

rock the house masterlist | ko-fi

we are in the city of love and you won’t even look at me.

you barely had enough light to write on the top line of your notebook. you had to uncomfortably slouch in your booth seat to bring your face as close to the paper of the journal as possible. the single candle burning in the center of your table and the dim wall light barely gave you enough vision. you never understood the point of restaurants barely having any lighting. how were you supposed to properly enjoy your food if you couldn’t see it? you despised the fact that places of his choosing lately only seemed to be dimly lit establishments.

once you were done writing on the top line of your notebook you closed it and bound it shut with the leather band. you leaned back against the vinyl seats of the booth, looking at the gentle flame in front of you. you focused on the wicker, how it was burning closer and closer to its end. right as you shifted your eyes to look towards the almost empty bar, the monsieur clad in white came into your line of sight. 

all he seemed to be doing tonight was get in your way. when you were standing outside of the restaurant, letting your breath vaporize in the cold air as you looked through the window the monsieur came out and asked you if it was a party for one. you only meant to pass by, to not be seen because he had come to the restaurant before you expected him to. but the monsieur’s voice drew attention to you, forcing you to quickly nod your head and confirm that you were eating alone. 

you had your revenge by occupying a booth seat meant for two and only ordering wine. this was the monsieur’s third time coming around with the bottle in his hand and the menu in the other in an effort to get you to order actual food. each time you would only nod towards your empty glass, silently asking him to fill you up again, and each time the monsieur wordlessly filled your empty glass with deep crimson red that almost looked black in the lighting of the restaurant. each time without fail the smell of cherries hit your nose and you would grimace. you covered up your disgust quickly with a sniffle and then a nod of appreciation.

“anything else, madame?” the monsieur moved the menu in his hand towards you. “an hors d'oeuvre, perhaps?” he suggested.

you looked away from the person sitting at the bar to look the monsieur in the eyes. you smiled and shook your head, motioning to the full glass of wine.

“just this. merci.” you said.

the server nodded but didn’t try to hide his annoyance. he walked away from your table with the wine bottle in his hand, getting ready to tend to the people in the restaurant who actually planned on ordering food. you gave your own look of annoyance to his back and rolled your eyes before you picked up the glass of wine.

instantly the sickly sweet smell flooded your senses again, so much to the point you almost gagged. but even if the wine tasted like cheap juice, you still took a big gulp after a moment of hesitation. your taste when it came to wine was insignificant in moments like this. it didn’t matter if you hated it because he loved it. 

you knew his lack of taste for alcohol made him impartial to the ones that sounded sweet. the only time the man sitting alone at the bar would get alcohol was if he was eating dinner with someone else and they wanted it. he would look at the drink menu pretending like he knew what body or mineral meant in regards to wine while taking quick peaks at the person sitting across from him. he would only order what the girl wanted, you remember hearing the phrase that’s what i was going to get! and feeling sick to your stomach watching him lie. 

you were happy that you made sure people speaking for sungchan wouldn’t be an issue a long time ago. 

you found out quickly that girls were spooked entirely too easy these days. all you had to do was send a message from an account without a profile picture and they would cancel on him without a second thought. most of them ghosted him wordlessly, like they were a figment of you and sungchan’s collective imagination. you could never bring yourself to feel pity for threatening the girls, the only thing you felt was confusion. how could they cancel so easily on him? how come none of them wanted to fight for him? you were far from scary, how come they never stood up to you? 

the only time a girl remotely put up a fight was because she was desperate and horny from the alcohol in her system. you remember stumbling after her into the bathroom of a stuffy crowded club and slurring a warning under your breath. the girl only looked to you and scoffed as she touched up her makeup in the long mirror. you silently staggered to each of the stalls to see if you two were alone as she told you that there was no way she wasn’t leaving without the tall attractive man whose songs were on her playlist. but even she gave in easily after you pushed her face into the glass of the mirror, seething into her ear as you repeated your warning. you didn’t let up until she had tears in her eyes and was gripping the edge of the sink so hard her knuckles turned white and her fingernails began to bend. you remember the excitement you felt for initiating an altercation fizzling to boredom at her submitting so easily. you might’ve let her have her fun if she tried fighting back. but she scurried off with her tail between her legs and her hands cradling her face and you never saw her again.

you never understood why nobody ever wanted to stick around sungchan, and he seemed to wonder the same thing. without fail, he would end up at the restaurant or the park or the club alone, looking around for the reason why. he would check his phone countless times, texting and sometimes calling to see where the person had went. where are you? is everything alright? was the latest text in all of his recent conversations, and his call log showed countless attempts to reach someone who was suddenly unreachable. any pity you felt for those girls turned into pity for him, how he was so confused no one wanted to spend time him. 

you also felt pity for sungchan because you knew it wasn’t his fault that his reputation preceded him. despite sungchan’s insightful lyrics in his songs he wasn’t very perceptive. he was unaware that something hung over him like a dark cloud swelling with rain. he was unaware that because of this everyone in the world was scared to get too close to him. you were the boogeyman to some, a whisper of phrases through the grapevine that ran through sungchan’s social circle without ever actually reaching him. you were called a crazy ex-girlfriend, an obsessed fan, a stalker, even a hitman—but that was all wrong. what you really are is his protector. the tribulations and the extent you would go to protect sungchan’s peace was something only you and your journal would know. you weren’t the dark cloud, you were the person behind him holding the umbrella over his head. you could admit in some aspects you were the boogeyman. you were the thing lurking in the shadows and hiding underneath the beds of anyone who doesn’t love or appreciate sungchan the way you do. someone had to be that person, someone had to have the tough job of protecting him. sungchan’s cardinal sin was that he was too trusting, his bambi eyes instantly softened to everyone, welcoming them in even if they intended to bring harm.

that’s why you were so drawn to him in the first place. you remember first seeing him, how his eyes welcomed you in so fast without hesitation. sungchan had no idea that you knew who he was, and you had no idea how close he was to you. he was too trusting that’s why you were able to become a part of his life so easily. before he became too famous to go outside you were there as the supportive person that was too complicated to be labeled as his friend. you were the one that convinced sungchan to go by bambi and to make a career off of being vulgar. you encouraged him to make songs about cursing even though you only heard him do it once and you helped him write about drinking and smoking because he couldn’t handle the taste of liquor and he coughed uncontrollably at even being in the presence of a cigarette. 

many would’ve called sungchan a poser if they knew about him in real life. his lack of a presence on social media helped add to his allure and certified his persona. you remember sungchan often thought called himself a poser due to making songs about a lifestyle he didn’t lead at all. you believed that he didn’t get it—that he didn’t understand the artistry or the irony of bambi. a character created made to be the complete opposite of the big innocent eyes everyone always told him about. 

you think that he felt disdain for the persona you helped create and he hated that his persona got him famous. you blame that for the reason he forcibly removed you from his life—all the other things he told you while you packed your things were simply just lies. you forgave him easily for what he said about you, that was water under the bridge a long time ago. loving and protecting sungchan forever was your part of the deal, and you planned on fulfilling your promise until the end. 

that’s why you were here in paris, one of the places he always talked about taking you to as you stared at his back. he had just played a sold out show, there was no way you could let him celebrate alone. so as he drank his celebratory glass of wine you took another sip yourself, even raising it in the air slightly as if you were cheering him on. 

the monsieur finished his rounds with sungchan, approaching him from behind to top him off. sungchan was slightly caught of guard, and you felt the thrill when he turned slightly in your direction. you instinctively moved your face to the side, trying to conceal your identity in the dimly lit corner of the restaurant where you resided. another couple left the restaurant as the monsieur filled sungchan’s glass the same way he did yours. you saw sungchan shake his head and wave off the monsieur after he leaned in close. you imagined it was the same question he asked you, maybe he tacked on a has your guest arrived yet, sir?

when you were three glasses of wine deep and it was just you, sungchan, a couple, and an old man left in the restaurant you started getting sloppy. this always happened when you were drunk and thinking of sungchan. you started clearing your throat a little louder than usual, staring at his back a little harder, and writing in your journal a little faster. the sound of your pen running over the pages filled the space you occupied. the old man looked towards you a couple times when you would let your gaze wonder around the rest of the restaurant. he sat on the other side, a pasta dish half eaten as he observed you carefully. you couldn’t be bothered to care about his gaze, if he was curious or silently judging you. you only continued to drink and write in your journal as you entertained your wine drunk ramblings.

you had made it to a new page of your journal when the last couple left the restaurant. you wrote about his show, how you were overwhelmed seeing so many people in the crowd from the balcony. you wrote about looking around the venue hearing the lyrics of a song sung back to him onstage. they don’t know the song was about me. you wrote about being in the studio with sungchan, just you, him, and a song about your body playing in his studio headphones. you wrote about what you did to him then and what you would do to him now as your hand began to lose it’s precise coordination. when you recalled sungchan lighting up the back of the venue and seeing him narrow his eyes as he looked in your general direction the end of your e’s trailed off the page. your pen to abruptly cut off at the end. your face started to feel hot to the touch and you looked to your empty glass. 

you had lost count a long time ago and you realized you lost your perception of time when you looked to the bar again to find that sungchan was no longer there. you quickly looked around the nearly empty restaurant, scanning the tables and the area behind you as you tried to find him. when no one emerged from the bathroom you realized you had missed him. you looked down to your journal, noticing that your handwriting had devolved and you somehow made it to the bottom of another page. you leaned back against the vinyl of your seat again, rubbing out the tension in your shoulder from slouching for a long period of time. you entertained a thought of getting another glass to loosen yourself up but you decided against it—you had an unfamiliar transit system to navigate once you left. you instead moved the wine around in tiny circles, watching the small amount you had left coat the inside of your glass before settling again at the bottom.

you continued to mindlessly stare at your wine glass as the old man left the restaurant. when he bid an au revoir more waitstaff clad in white started coming through the swinging doors from the back of house into the main dining area. when they started shooting you annoyed glances and folding silverware in the booths surrounding yours you finally got the check. you imagined that sungchan was already in his hotel room, trying to contact another date that had stood him up. you imagined him pacing around the room begging for an answer to an empty mailbox as to why she bailed without saying a single word. you briefly thought about going to see him, or the chance of running into him on the way to your hotel but you let those thoughts melt away by the time you signed the bottom of the receipt. 

while you pulled your jacket from the booth beside and slid your journal into your bag you stared at the barstool sungchan sat at. his empty wine glass and the bottle still sat there. if you were alone in the dining area you would’ve made an attempt to steal it. you could’ve concealed the wine bottle into the deep pocket of your coat, maybe even steal the glass to compensate for not sitting by him. at the very least you should’ve sent sungchan a bottle, just to see his eyes get big as he scanned the restaurant looking for the person who knows him so well. but you settled for wishing once again as you left the left the booth and walked around the circular tables to the exit.

in the cold paris night even underneath the fur coat that went all the way down to your calfs you were freezing. after the restaurant door was shut and locked behind you your arms instinctually came together, rubbing up and down the expanse to try and create warmth. you looked from side to side even though you knew where you were going, trying to compose yourself enough for the walk to the station. when you still felt cold you inwardly laughed to yourself about how the animals you were wearing died for nothing. you took an experimental step in your heels, and when you could walk balanced you turned right to head towards the train station.

you were distracted by trying to get home as fast as possible. you were too focused on your heels clicking on the brick roads making sure you were walking in a straight and composed line. you prioritized closing your body in on itself to try and generate more heat instead of taking in your surroundings. you were distracted by your vaporized breath and thinking about the weather back home that you didn’t notice the long strides coming up behind you. 

for a moment, it was scary. you were looking down the small alley when you felt the hairs raise on the back of your neck. you turned away to look over your shoulder just to be pulled by your arm towards the space between two buildings that previously gave you a sick feeling. the force of the pull caught you off balance, when you tipped back on your heels another hand had to keep you upright. you couldn’t scream, you were so surprised and desperate to regain balance that you didn’t make a single sound. adrenaline and fear coursed through your veins as you were quickly turned around and pushed against the brick side of the building.

sungchan catching you off guard when you dedicated your life to watching him was ironic. the fact that you didn’t know it was him instantly was almost comical. when you understood it was him you couldn’t stop yourself from smirking. maybe it was the wine coursing through your veins that made you start to laugh. your cackles ricocheted between the two building and the blood rushing in your ears you didn’t hear what sungchan said at first. you only stopped laughed when he pushed you up the wall by his grip on your arms until your feet dangled uselessly in the air. 

sungchan finally looked you in a dark secluded alleyway of paris, his narrowed down to slits before he realized who you were. his eyes became saucers, the whites of his eyes becoming more and more exposed and his grip on your arms faltered to the point that the tips of your feet brushed the ground.

“i fucking knew it.” he said quietly. 

the smell of cherries and smoke fanned across your face. instead of grimacing you embraced it, breathing in so deeply your chest lifted. sungchan still had his hands on your arms and you were still pressed to the harsh wall. you felt a dull throb on the back of your head as the adrenaline of being caught like prey wore off. 

you didn’t fight against his grip, you only bent your arms at the elbow as far as they could reach. you caressed the sleeves of sungchan’s winter coat and pinched the rough gray tweed between your fingers. he looked from your face down to your hands and with a disgusted look he let you go.

as sungchan backed into the brick wall of the alleyway opposite of you, you had a moment to compose yourself. silently he watched you run a fast hand down the sleeves of your fur coat to wipe off the dust. you backed away from the wall and straightened your sleeves, and quickly patted your jostled hair. when you were put together you leaned against the wall relaxed, trying to control the excitement you had been chasing after for so long.

“what are you doing here?” sungchan asked.

“you know i’ve always wanted to come to par—” 

“bullshit.” your eyes widened at how natural curses seemed to roll off his tongue now. ”what are you doing here?”

sungchan looked at you from the other side of the alley like he didn’t already know. you were here because he was here. you could see the pieces slowly coming together in his mind, maybe he was more perceptive than you thought. when it finally all clicks you see him roll his eyes up to the sky, nodding his head as he speaks.

“i fucking knew it.” he repeats.

you still lean against the wall, the severity of the situation hasn’t set in for you yet. your inability to take sungchan as a threat even when he’s the angriest you’ve ever seen him is your biggest character flaw. your mind is only replaying the split second he brought you fear, the small moment of all your terrorizing on his life came back to you.

“how did you know?” you ask while wedging your hands between yourself and the wall. you only hope to provoke sungchan more by being relaxed, calmly asking questions while he actively loses his mind.

you see him look down from the sky to stare you down. you return his hard gaze with an innocent curiosity and cross your legs to balance on one heel. 

“i swore i saw you in the crowd last night, and shotaro thought he saw you at the club months ago. i didn’t want to believe it but—” when sungchan saw you fail to hide a smile his eyes showed indignation. he stopped leaning against the brick wall to try and make himself seem bigger “you find this funny? i should call the cops.” he said.

you felt the sick thrill and adrenaline course through your veins again. 

“so do it.” you said.

sungchan tilted his head at the sincerity in your words. he recognized your blown out bedroom eyes and the way you were getting excited. he shook his head in disgust again, but didn’t turn away from you.

“you’re disgusting.” sungchan seethed.

“i know, you wrote a song about it.” you looked down the alleyway, looking past the blue dumpster to the other side of the road. you smirked to yourself before leaning your head against the brick wall again. you playfully touched your chin like you were trying to recall something. “i think then though you used the word nasty.” you said.

you were playing with sungchan and he knew it. you both knew even if he cussed now, he still wasn’t someone who could call the cops on anybody. you both still remembered when he lived in the cheap apartments that he would hear illegal activity all night and turn a blind eye to it. 

sungchan also hated to admit that he still had a piece of him that was protective of you. to be fair, he only recently noticed you lurking in the corners of his life. when he ended the relationship he thought it was a clean break, that you were holding up your end of the no contact agreement. when he came into fame he couldn’t help but think of you, and the sightings of you in the crowd of the shows he thought were projections of his mind made him miss you. when you slightly lost your balance on your heel the muscle memory of his body almost made him clear the distance between your bodies. he had to cross his arms to occupy his hands but it was too late—you looked at him with a knowing smirk as you went back to standing on your two feet. 

he hated himself for the fact that he couldn’t pull away from you. sungchan recalled being in this position with you before—after a show, him looking down at your body leaned against the wall as you looked up at him with stars in your eyes. so much has changed in your relationship since then but sungchan felt the butterflies all the same. the stars in your eyes caused by the street lamps practically sparkled over your glassy pupils. he shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine. he found it harder and harder to be scared of you when you looked so welcoming and familiar opposite of him. you looked so warm in the fur coat he bought you with his first paycheck and suddenly shivered.

“your show was really good by the way.” you said, bringing your jacket closer to your body.

sungchan’s first step was small. his feet barely brought him away from the wall he was up against, but when he took the step forward you stopped leaning. every hair on your body stood on end, and for the first time in god knows how long sungchan felt unfamiliar. you spent so much time observing him that you forgot what it felt like to be the center of his attention. his second step was daunting, it made you straighten your posture against the wall and bring your hands from behind you to rest them at your sides.  

the closer sungchan got the more you realized how big he had gotten. from the other side of the alley he was the same height as you, and from afar in his baggy attire he seemed small. but when he stood in front of you it left you craning your neck upwards to see him. he looked down at you with a look of disgust that shouldn’t have evoked anticipation shooting up your spine. 

when he brought his hands up from his sides you stiffened. his hard gaze did not falter in the slightest as he gripped your arms the same way he did before. you winced from the pain, he was pressing directly onto the forming bruises. when he saw your face flash in pain he didn’t let up, he only squeezed tighter until you parted your lips to groan. puffs of air in exasperation floated between your two bodies before dissipating into the night sky. you noticed sungchan’s breaths coming out deep and heavy as you both held eye contact. you felt his hands wrap around the circumference of your upper arm, pulsing his grip to remind you how strong he was—that he was in control.

“you’re sick.” sungchan seethed.

you wordlessly nodded your head.

“you’re pathetic.” sungchan said.

you swallowed thickly and brought your hands to grasp at the sleeves of his shirt. instead of caressing the fabric your clutched it in your hands desperately and held on so tight you thought you were shaking. when you didn’t back down from sungchan’s degradation his look softened.

“what do you want from me?” sungchan asked.

your eyes grew even wider at his question. you had been chasing temporary fulfillment for so long you never stopped to consider what your end goal was. you knew what sungchan truly meant by his question, he wanted to know what it would take for you to leave his life and never come back. you truly didn’t know what it would take, what circumstance would make you leave sungchan alone? maybe he would have to be happy in the tiny world you handmade for him. maybe you had to be a part of his life in any capacity. maybe you had to die or be behind bars. what you wanted from him was insurmountable and was everlasting.

sungchan squeezed your arms hard. the pain made you audibly hiss and clutched at the sleeves of his coat even more. when you focused again on sungchan his eyes had gotten bigger and even more impatient waiting for your answer. he shook your arms for emphasis, and you shook your head.

“everything.” you said quickly.

“you want everything from me?” he asked.

sungchan spoke like he was giving you a chance to change your answer. he wanted you to turn into a babbling apologetic mess crying just let me go and i’ll never bother you again. he wanted you to seem apologetic, but the only thing you seemed sorry about was that this didn’t happen sooner. 

you doubled down on your answer, nodding your head as sungchan loomed over you. you weren’t scared of him, when he let go of you for the second time your body leaned towards his touch.

“give me everything and maybe you’ll never hear from me again.” you reiterated.

sungchan looked down at you again and scoffed. who were you to demand anything from him? why was he considering to give it to you? he was in the city of love for the first time in his life arguing with someone who was ruining his life. sungchan was disgusted with himself for almost finding it romantic. how long had you been following him before he found out? how much of your savings did you spend to follow him out here? did you go to every single one of his shows? he knew you were a looming presence in his life, but he was moved by your devotion. when he’d hear your voice over his shoulder in the studio while recording. did he need you the same way you needed him? was there a world where your roles were reversed? where you were the famous one and he was the one following you around the world? in some sick way he understood you, sometimes the thought of you becoming someone else’s problem made his stomach sink.

sungchan tried his best to hide his thoughts behind a stone cold resolve but you still looked up at him smiling like you knew everything. your smirk disgusted him, the way you still reached for him made his stomach turn. he doesn’t know why he gripped your bare wrist and yanked you from the alley to flag down a taxi.

your feet lagged behind the rest of your body again at sungchan’s abrupt strength. you nearly lost your footing as you stumbled towards the road. you looked at the back of sungchan’s head, his black strands of hair that peaked from underneath his beanie. you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at the sight of his hand wrapped around your wrist. you had forgotten what his touch felt like on your bare skin. 

you were still off balance when sungchan opened the back of the taxi cab and guided you in first by your wrist. you stumbled into the seat ungracefully, bringing the attention from the driver to you. he looked in the rearview mirror, and you did your best to ignore him as you scooted to the other end of the taxi to make room for sungchan. he came into the back of the cab calmly, sitting down and buckling himself in. 

“where to?” the driver said once sungchan closed the door. 

the driver was still looking to you in the rearview mirror, cutting nervously to the man sitting on the opposite side of you. there was no way the driver didn’t see sungchan pull you from the alley and roughly usher you into the car. the act of being seen quickly became your goal instead of something you were actively trying to avoid. you hoped that everyone in the ninth arrondissement of paris saw sungchan dragging you around. with the drivers eye still on you, you looked to sungchan expecting him to tell the driver where to go. 

sungchan only returned your confused gaze, even tilting his head to the side when you said nothing.

“you know where i’m staying right?” he said harshly.

you nodded and swallowed thickly before telling the driver where to go in an embarrassingly meek voice. when you were done you watched the driver hesitate for a moment before starting the meter and shifting the gears.

the ride back to sungchan’s hotel he kept his eyes trained outside the car. he looked at the passing lights and businesses that were closing down for the night. you didn’t bother to look at anything but him. occasionally you would twist your wrist that was still in his hold just to feel his hand tighten around it in warning. you uselessly pawed at his arm, baiting sungchan into displaying his strength again and again. if you were lucky it would leave a bruise. 

the only time you looked away from sungchan was when the taxi crossed over the bridge. the whole city was lit up but the lights on the eiffel tower stole your attention. you looked out sungchan’s video to get a view of it, how everything seemed so small next to it. sungchan looked at you from his peripheral vision and a beat later he leaned back in his seat to give you a better view. you ignored it for his sake and flexed your hand in his grip again.

he didn’t let go of your wrist until you were in front of the hotel. he unbuckled his seatbelt and opened the door, not bothering to look back at you.

you clambered over the seats while sungchan paid, and when he was done he grabbed your wrist again and pulled you out of the car. you were used to the yanking and the force behind his pulls now, you were no longer stumbling on the ground and you kept up with him. 

your clicking heels sounded on the brick walkway and the marble flooring of the lobby. you clicked behind his long strides and you basked in the stare of the hotel concierge as she looked up from her desk to watch sungchan pull you through the lobby. an elevator was waiting for you two when he pressed the up button, the metal doors opened to an empty car. just like with the cab sungchan led you in first by the grip he had on your wrist. you instinctually went to the corner of the elevator, watching him press the button to the eighth floor before repeatedly pressing the close button.

when the elevator doors closed sungchan only focused straight ahead. you were silent in the corner of the elevator, picking up his subtle hints that he needed you to be still.

the doors opened to the eighth floor and sungchan looked both ways before heading left. you followed behind him silently, trying to be mindful of your heels on the carpet of the hallway. you had no concept of what time it was now, but you could only imagine it was late. the roads were empty and it seemed like in all of paris only you and sungchan were awake. 

when sungchan pulled his keycard from his back pocket you pulled in a breath. it was the loudest you had been since talking to him in the alley. sungchan tapped the keycard against the doorknob and you saw the red light flash green before he pushed it open.

you couldn’t even make it through the door before he pushed you against the wall. you realized in that moment that he was being gentle with you in the alleyway. your back hit the wall, and sungchan didn’t give you space to move as he came close to you. 

instead of gripping your arms sungchan ghosted his hand over your neck, and instead of letting you tip your own head up to look at him he did it by pulling your hair. he got close to you, watching how you were completely at his mercy in this position. you should’ve been scared, both of you knew it. sungchan was capable of squeezing the life out of you then and there, some would argue he had the right to. but when sungchan looked into your eyes he didn’t see fear. what he saw was desperation that was so palpable he could taste it. you looked at him pitifully with eyes of want instead of terror, and you leaned into his threatening touch instead of pulling away. 

sungchan wanted to see if he could scare you, maybe if he got a little closer you could see the anger in his eyes and if he squeezed around your soft neck your eyes would widen in shock. but as he got closer you only preened your lips closer to his and parted your lips when his nose pressed into yours. sungchan watched you press your hands flat against the wall, trying to lift yourself up to get closer to him. his lips were inches away and you shut your eyes and tilted your head in anticipation. sungchan watched you shake and get on your tiptoes to try and close the distance. he couldn’t take it anymore when he saw your tongue poke past your lips to wet them with spit. the habit you always had before kissing him made his reservations crumble. his hand left your neck and went to your jaw instead, closing the distance so fast your teeth bumped against his.

sungchan’s lips were soft against yours but his actions were rough. immediately he stuck his tongue into your mouth, laving your teeth and the sides of your mouth an an excess amount of spit. anytime you leaned or tilted your head the way he didn’t want he would tug at your hair. when you brought your hand from your side to try and paw at him sungchan let go of your jaw to press your wrist against the wall. you were still, essentially a puppet in his hands that only moved its lips in the way he wanted. when he leaned his body against yours to keep you against the wall you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning into his mouth.

sungchan pulled away completely at the vibration. both of your chests were rising and falling, and sungchan’s heavy breaths through his nose fanned your dewy skin. your coats that kept you warm in the paris winter only made sweat line the planes of your skin in the thick air of the room. you felt sweat forming in the small of your back and your hands were clammy and shaking as you experimentally reached towards the buttons of sungchan’s coat. when he didn’t snatch your wrist again you started pushing the buttons through the tiny slits of fabric.

sungchan’s hands clasped over your shoulders before he started working your fur coat off of you. your shivered under his touch and your hands started working quicker, sometimes fumbling with a button. sungchan was still slow, not bothering to push the coat down your arms until they were back at your side. he looked down at you as your thick coat fell to the floor, pooling at your feet. 

when you were out, the air seemed to stand still. you heard the air conditioner kick back on somewhere in the room but it didn’t cool anything between you and him. you only shivered when sungchan ran a feather light touch up your arms until he got to the sleeve of your dress. he pinched the velvet fabric between his fingers. you shamelessly reached across to sungchan’s torso and started pressing your fingers against his stomach to feel the definition of his abs.

“you don’t wanna be seen but you wear this?” he asked while doing a once over of your body.

sungchan was unfazed as your hands became greedier. you pulled his tucked in shirt from his jeans and slipped your hands underneath. you shuddered again at being able to feel his warm and hard skin under your fingertips again. 

while you were pawing at sungchan’s torso and pulling at his back he was calm and collected. he ran his hand over the top of your dress, following the square neckline that left your collarbones on full display. he trailed his hand to the center of your chest and pulled the fabric down. neither of you cared about the stretch or the chance your dress might tear. you only raised your chest, trying to put yourself on display for him as quick as possible.

the fabric of your dress stretched first before you heard the tear. you didn’t know where it was, all you knew was that your chest was exposed. sungchan’s hand left your hair to squeeze your flesh. he gripped so hard you felt the blunt tips of his fingernails dig into your skin. you squirmed from his harsh hold, pressing your head against the wall as you tried to not make a sound. sungchan looked from your chest to your eyes and let go to harshly pinch your nipple. from that you let out a whine of pain, your nails scratched the wall as you kept them pressed there.

“show me what you want.” sungchan said it directly in your ear, cherries and his cologne fanning the side of your face. “so i never have to see you again.” he whispered.

you pulled your shaky hand from the wall and guided his other hand to your chest. you pressed flat against his hand, hoping he remembered your silent cue that you needed him to touch you more. sungchan obliged, kneaded your skin the way he used to. you reached your hand to wrap behind his shoulder. it pulled him closer to you, and you arched your back until your chest pressed into his. you strained against the fabric of your dress, and you heard more tearing as you tried finding more room. 

before you could reach behind your body to unzip the back sungchan’s hands left your tits and went to your legs. before you could whine from loss of contact he lifted you up. when you wrapped your legs around his waist, you were taller than him. you had forgotten what he looked like from up here, he couldn’t hide anything. the lamp showed his blown out eyes clearly, and caught on his glossy lips. you placed your hand on his cheek while you used the other to slowly pull his beanie off. you had been here before—the image of sungchan’s mussed hair and his needy eyes played in your mind like a movie. you brought your lips down to his hastily and he held your body just like he always used to.

you were so invested in the kiss, you slouched into him the same way you did to your journal, and you poured your all into him too. your hand that was placed gently on his cheek became desperate and clutched his face in a way that caused his lips to part and pucker. you stuck your tongue in sungchan’s mouth this time, subjecting yourself to the god awful wine and cigarettes that he apparently smoked now. one of sungchan’s hands left your thigh to press into your back. you couldn’t stop yourself from sighing contently feeling him respond to you. 

you left sungchan meander around the room holding you up as you explored his mouth like it was the first time again. you were messier than him, letting your tongue swipe over the perimeter of his mouth before sucking on his bottom lip. sungchan let you, and he closed his eyes as he reached out a blind hand to find a surface to set you down on.

he settled for the area right night to the television. when sungchan’s hand found the surface he carelessly swiped his hand over the top, causing whatever rested on it to fall to the ground. both of you heard things from your bag thud against the carpet, but neither of you could be bothered. you were worried about getting sungchan undressed. while he slotted himself between your legs you pushed his long tweed coat off his shoulders. you were impatiently reaching for the bottom of his shirt before it could even hit the ground. sungchan pulled at the collar of his shirt before pulling it off completely. you let out another heavy sigh at his toned body. 

you tried to block out the images of him flaunting his body around onstage just to hear the shrill cries of his audiences. none of them had the luxury to see sungchan like you did. you let your nails graze up his abs, but before you could reach his chest sungchan clasped a single hand over both of your wrists. you winced from the pain and let out a tiny sound from the shock. he was unfazed ass he kept both of your hands restricted to once side of your body. 

sungchan didn’t respond to your furrowed eyebrows or your pouting lips. he only continued staring at you as his other hand creeped up your leg. you stopped trying to fight against his grip and spread your legs further when he made it to your underwear. he watched your eyebrows furrow even more as you subconsciously brought your lip between your teeth. he could tell you wanted him to draw out the pleasure, to tease you and maybe eat you out like he always used to. but sungchan was slowly getting used to treating you the way you deserved, even while giving you what you wanted. so instead of drawing shapes on your thigh or getting down on his knees he pushed past your underwear and stuck two fingers into your clenching hole. the sudden intrusion made you mewl and arch your back further. you felt sungchan stiffen from your abrupt and loud sound.

“be quiet.” he said sternly. 

he pushed out an okay by plunging a third finger into your pussy. sungchan crooked his fingers and hit that spot you had been trying to reach for years. you had to bite your lip to keep quiet, the only chance you got to make a sound was when you leaned your head into sungchan’s chest. you let tiny sounds out against his skin, drowned out by the lewd sound of sungchan’s fingers interacting with your slick. when he picked up the pace the sound only got louder. you had to grip the edges of the surface you sat on to offset the sounds you so badly wanted to make.

“such a mess already,” sungchan’s hand tightened around your wrists as he focused bending his fingers inside of you. “how long were you waiting for this?” he asked sarcastically.

“so long.” you whined against his chest.

you were pathetically squirming from the pleasure as you continued to take it. you couldn’t bring yourself from sungchan’s chest to look him in the eyes, you were nowhere near strong enough. you could only press your face deeper into his solid chest as drool slipped past your lips.

“you gonna cum?” sungchan asked.

when you felt yourself hurtling towards an orgasm you started shaking your head against his chest quickly. sungchan first thought you were asking for more and started using the bottom of his palm to rub into your clit. he realized quickly that was too much, and you started pushing away from his hand by scooting backwards.

“what’s wrong?” sungchan asked.

his eyebrows were knitted in confusion as you weakly brought your head up from his chest. you sniffled and fought against his grip on you again. sungchan let you go as you tried composing yourself. he watched your shaky hands reach behind your back to pull the zipper of your dress down. you looked behind sungchan and he followed your gaze to his neatly made bed. 

when he looked back at you you had the top half of your dress pulled down and your bra laying crumpled next to you. you got down from your temporary perch and let your dress fall to your feet. left in just your underwear and all of your glory you looked up to him.

“i need everything.” 

sungchan wasted no time heeding your request. you were off the ground again in seconds, only this time you were thrown on the bed. you were a rag doll on top of the bed for a moment, your limbs still loose from the relief sungchan was giving you moments prior. 

you only sat up slightly as sungchan stalked towards you, hands on the belt of his jeans as he stared you up and down. he pulled off his pants first, and you could hear the clatter of his belt buckle as he lifted his feet from the denim. he walked to the edge of the bed, looking down at your body already becoming littered with incoming bruises. how you managed to look like the victim was equal parts enticing and maddening. sungchan remembered the way the cab driver looked at you, silently asking if you were alright. sungchan quelled his frustrations by palming the back of your head and pushing your face towards his clothed dick. he was disgusted that you didn’t resist, in fact you only pressed your face further into the fabric of sungchans’ boxers. he felt his hair stand on end when he you took in a deep breath and close your eyes contently. he didn’t bother hiding his disgust when you opened your eyes to look at him.

“this is everything?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

you nodded quickly, moving towards the center of the bed to situate yourself on the white sheets. once you found your spot you slowly shimmied out of your panties while you looked to sungchan’s boxers expectantly.

slowly his hands went underneath the waistband of his pants and started working them down. he was slow, following down his small happy trail before stopping completely. this seemed to be the only torturing you responded to, because a whiny noise slipped past your swollen lips once sungchan stopped. you realized you made a mistake and bit your lip immediately afterwards, trying to find a calm expression that matched his. 

sungchan continued dragging his boxers down, letting his dick catch on the elastic of the waistband so it bobbed after being freed. his dick was heavy and already leaking with precum. sungchan felt himself harden and twitch at your burning stare.

“flip over.” sungchan put his knee on the bed. “on your stomach.”

still looking at his dick you laid down and got on your stomach in one smooth motion. you perked your ass as far as it would go when you felt sungchan’s body weight cause a dip in the bed on both sides of your legs. he propped himself up by his hands on either side of your shoulder and you felt his heavy dick rest on the swell of your ass. you gasped from the feeling and found a deeper arch in attempt to chase the warmth. sungchan moved a hand to your ass to get you in place, and you sighed once before following the order of his hand.

you felt the same hand go to grab the base of his dick and slapped it on the same place his hand was previously. you pressed your face into the mattress, trying to calm your heart that was thudding in your chest. sungchan guided his dick lower and lower, letting his tip prod your entrance. you drew in a breath, feeling like you might suffocate yourself against the duvet of sungchan’s hotel bed. you heard a light you leave his lips, cut off by a sudden intake of breath. your heart swelled at the thought of sungchans’ instinct of wanting to check up on you, and it erupted across your body when he slid in all the way.

you lifted your head from the mattress, a pathetic sound caused by the stretch and pleasure leaving your lips. you rocked back against sungchan when he pulled out, messing up his rhythm from your impatience. he left out a curse as he pushed your body into the mattress. one of your hands found sungchan’s wrist as he lowered his body down to yours. you felt the air get pushed out of you for a moment while sungchan experimented with how much of his body weight to lean on you. you wanted him to give you all of it, you wanted to feel the crush and the air get squeezed out of your lungs because of him. you decided you asked for enough when you felt sungchan deep in your stomach again.

“this is everything, right?” sungchan asked, punctuating each word with a thrust. 

“right.” you said while nodding.

you pressed the side of your face into the pillow to try and see him. the momentum fucked your body further into the mattress, and you dug your nails into sungchan’s wrist that you held onto for stability. when sungchan finally registered the pain he pulled wrist from your grasp. when you pathetically searched for something to grab sungchan clasped his hand it over the back of yours. his hold was bone crushing. your fingers were poking out straight between the gaps in his fist.

“don’t touch me.” sungchan pressed his body closer to yours, the sweat keeping his chest glued to your back. “just cum for me already.” he said.

anytime you tried to speak, sungchan would grind his hips against your ass. the pressure of his bodyweight was almost suffocating, and each thrust pushed out a gasp of breath from you. sungchan settled even further into you, propping his other arm on his elbow next to your body. 

first it was only you slightly moving your face towards his hand. you told yourself you were trying to find a better angle underneath sungchan’s thrusts and to get a better view of him. you tried to follow sungchan’s order of not touching him, you really did—but seeing his fist press in the mattress with his veins  bulging from the exertion right next to your face made you reach out to him. you kissed the butt of his palm first, and waited for his reaction. sungchan faltered for a moment, his hips pulling away from you completely. you followed his hips and whined, pulsing around the part of his dick that stayed inside of you.

sungchan pushed your body back down to the mattress with a hard thrust. his skin slapped against yours and you cried out. you were forced to moan and babble around his fingers as he pushed two of his digits in past your parted lips. sungchan rested his face against the back of your head, letting his heavy pants out against your hair and scalp. your hand that wasn’t being held by his fisted the sheets. after sungchan pulled away from your head you could hear him above you laugh.

“you look so pathetic right now.” he sneered.

you continued to suck on his fingers by hallowing your cheeks and moaning. he pressed his fingers deeper into your mouth almost making you gag.

“following me across the world just to get fucked is a new low.” sungchan’s clear words devolved into grunts as he started thrusting into you at a faster pace.

your whole body reacted to sungchan’s jabs. your walls started erratically seizing around his dick and your hand began clawing at the sheets to ground yourself. you even tried clenching your fist that sungchan still held onto. you felt your whole body getting higher and higher, but your peak seemed just out of reach. you needed more, you were missing the final piece to having everything. 

you couldn’t put it into words but only through body language. when you felt sungchan looking down at you and his quick grunts fanned your check you started weakly preening the side of your face to his lips.

“please.” you whimpered around his fingers. 

you heard him let out a tiny moan above you when he realized what you were asking for. he covered it up with another taunting laugh. he ghosted his lips above the apples of your cheeks and pulled away just to hear you mewl again. your head fell back back down to the mattress. 

as the last bit of strength left your body, sungchan’s power increased tenfold. when the last bit of your arch crumbled sungchan took it in stride, bending his legs so yours were pushed up further. 

the new angle made you cry out, and you lifted your front off the bed to press your back into sungchan’s chest. you felt his smirk against your neck before he pressed his lips to your clammy skin. his ruts against you were becoming sporadic, and from the tiny bit of affection you felt yourself coming undone. sungchan trailed sloppy kisses from your neck to your cheek, occasionally sucking on your skin and leaving a trail of spit behind. you started pushing your hips back and sucking harder on sungchan’s fingers. in the last moment he pulled them from your mouth and replaced it with his lips. you had to crane your neck uncomfortably and sungchan had to sacrifice fucking into you the way he wanted but it was the last thing you needed. 

your body ascended and you started shaking underneath sungchan, he pushed into you one last time before a shudder took over his full body and he let out a shaky moan into your mouth. you were whining in between his kisses, barely able to reciprocate as he kept going. 

for a moment you had everything. you were sated and content, you finally felt full and warm after your everlasting hunger. but as you were basking in the glory sungchan abruptly let go of your hand and stopped your jerking hips. he took away the pleasure, and ignored your whine from lose of contact. sungchan’s breath was labored but he still pulled out of you, his dick softening after his orgasm. you wanted him to stay inside like he used to before, and caress your cheeks while telling you how good you felt. you had none of that, sungchan separated his hot body from yours and got up from the bed completely. 

you were left in the crater on the mattress while sungchan took groggy steps towards the bathroom.

when the water started running, you realized how nasty you felt. you were still sweaty, your hair felt out of place and everything was sticky. warmth spilled out from between your thighs and you felt the sungchan’s spit dry on your skin. you waited there still, trying to will your worked limbs to move.

sungchan came from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. he had a toothbrush in his mouth and worked vigorously in between him grabbing your clothes and throwing them next to your body. you were cold at the lack of tenderness in his movements. his refusal to look at you made you silent and you finally moved from your place on the mattress to reach for your dress.

sungchan watched you quietly put your clothes back on from his spot beside the bed. he said nothing when you needed him to the most. he didn’t apologize for breaking up with you, he didn’t thank you for nurturing his career, he didn’t ask you to stay. he only looked at you, impatience coming off of him in waves. when you took too long he tapped on his phone to wake it up.

“your cab is waiting outside.” he said evenly.

now it was you who refused to look at sungchan. you started getting dressed faster and climbed off the bed, ignoring the stiffness in your joints. you walked to your coat and put it on quickly, adjusting the way it laid on your body but lifting your shoulders. when you felt sungchan still staring you quickly stuffed your bra and underwear into the pockets and started making your way towards the door. 

for the second time that night, sungchan followed closely behind you until you made it to the door. he reached his arm behind you, pulling the door open. 

the hallway in front of you was cold and the night waiting for you outside seemed even colder. you hesitated in the entryway of sungchan’s hotel room, praying that he would change his mind and let you back in. his hand on the small of your back didn’t comfort you as he slowly pushed you further out the door.

when in the hallway, you turned around to look back at him. you had to blink to stop the tears from bracketing your vision, but seeing sungchan’s stoic expression caused a single tear to flow freely. 

he reached his hand forward, and you thought for a moment sungchan would comfort you. you thought about him squeezing your hand or rubbing the raw skin of your wrist. he only reached forward to the pocket of your jacket and fished around until he felt your balled up underwear. your eyes widened but sungchan still remained stoic as he fisted the fabric and pulled it from your pocket. he leaned on the door and lowered his head until he was eye level with you.

“you better pray i never see you again.” 

sungchan slammed the door shut so hard that the momentum made you lean your body back. 

you walked down the hallway in shock. your feet dragged behind you, the threat in sungchan’s words rung in your ear. you stared at the pattern of the carpet underneath your feet as you walked towards the elevator. you felt the empty pit in your stomach open up again. in the reflection of the elevators metal doors you watched an uncontrollable smile spread across your face.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Farmer's Daughter 5

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall

Summary: You notice a peculiar change in a family friend. (short!reader, sorry size kink is out)

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

Walter’s presence grows routine, even if it still feels peculiar. Before, you saw him now and again when he dropped in to see your dad. He never seemed very social and that sense hasn’t changed. He comes, does his work, and politely accepts his dinner.

That day, a week since your father’s homecoming, you’re due to drive into town. You need to stop by the pharmacy for your mom and pick up a few staples from the grocer. You’re excited to get out, to distance yourself just for an hour or two from the sombre farmhouse.

You grab your purse, a wicker bag with a ribbon tied on the handle, and put a hat on to block out the beaming sunlight. The birds tweet in greeting as you fold your mother’s list into your pocket and head for the garage. The door is open already. Timothy always forgets to close it.

You jingle the keys and climb up into the old truck. You don’t drive it often, mostly traveling to town with your parents or brother. You prefer to walk most places, even if it is a bit far.

You put your bag on the passenger seat and turn the keys in the ignition. The engine putters then a loud bag makes you yelp. A plume of black smoke erupts from the slits on the hood of the truck and a rackety clunking churns in the motor. You let go of the key as you sit dumbfounded and watch the cloud grow.

You hear footsteps and suddenly the driver’s door swings open. You’re pulled out before you can react, put onto your feet and ushered back into the spring hue. You cough as you get a mouthful of smoke and turn to face the garage, Walter’s hand lingering on your back.

“Timothy,” he growls before he marches forward, “told that kid he was gonna start a fire.”

“I…”

“What’s going on?” Your brother dashes up as if he heard his name, “woah, holy cow.”

“What did you do?” Walter accuses.

“What? I fixed it,” Timothy shrugs.

“Damnit,” Walter growls and paces back and forth. “You’re lucky it didn’t catch fire,” he turns on your brother, “you’re lucky your sister didn’t get hurt.”

“Huh? What?” Timothy shakes his head, “I didn’t–”

“She was in there,” Walter’s voice rises tremulously.

“I’m okay,” you pipe up, “it’s fine, I just… can you fix it?”

Walter stops and faces you. His brow twitches in anger and he crosses his thick arms. He peeks over his shoulder then back at you.

“Not any time soon.”

“I can fix it.”

“Don’t touch it,” Walter snarls, “you leave better off alone.”

“Jeez, dad, calm down,” Timothy snipes dryly. He gets a dark glare in return and flinches visibly, “sorry, I–”

“Shouldn’t be joking about that,” Walter girds and pivots his attention back to you, “where were you going?”

“Just to town. I was gonna get some stuff from the store,” you explain.

“I’ll drive you,” Walter insists.

“Oh, uh, that’s fine. I can call Mr. Howland–”

“Don’t bother,” Walter waves you off, “running low on manure around here.”

“Oh,” you chew your lip, “right. Well, thanks, I’ll just grab my purse–”

You take a step towards the garage and Walter quickly blocks your path, “I’ll get it. You shouldn’t breathe that stuff in.”

You step back and nod. Walter rolls his shoulders and narrows his eyes at Timothy as he spins, “get back to planting. No time to waste.”

Walter stalks into the thinning smoke and you blink at your brother. He mopes and throws his hands up as he looks at you, “I was just trying to help.”

“I know, Tim,” you say, “better just get it done.”

“God, he’s a grumpy gus, isn’t he,” Timothy rolls his eyes, “sorry, sis.”

“I’m okay,” you assure him, “just go.”

“Hey,” he stops himself before he goes, “can you grab me smokes?”

“No,” Walter answers as he emerges, holding out your purse, “come on, better head out.”

Timothy huffs and tramps away. You take your purse from Walter with a sheepish smile. His anger makes you nervous. You’ve never seen him anything less than stoic. You follow him to his truck, parked just in front of the house and he opens the passenger door ahead of you.

The porch door swings open and shut. Before you can climb up into the truck, you mom rushes out, “everything okay?”

“Just some car troubles,” Walter calls back, “nothing I can’t fix.”

“Right, oh,” she looks over at the wisps escaping the garage, “fire?”

“Just smoke,” Walter returns, “I’m gonna take her to town, I’ll have a proper look when I get back.”

“I can call Vol,” your mother offers.

He grumbles and offers his hand. You let him help you up into the truck, the lift even higher than your dad’s. He waits for you to settle in before he shuts the door.

“All good, Maddie,” he shows his palm, “won’t be long at all.”

“Thank you, Walter,” your mother preens, “you’re too good to us.”

He nods and goes around the front of the truck. He hops in the driver’s seat with no effort at all and shuts the door. He buckles his seat belt, glancing over at you and you do the same. You clutch your purse and swing your feet over the floor.

“You alright?” He asks as he starts the engine and shifts.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Must’ve been scary,” he comments.

“Just a bit of a surprise,” you chirp, “but I’m okay. Er, thanks for… for saving me.”

“Saving you?” He scoffs.

“Yeah, I didn't really know what to do,” you laugh at yourself, “I'd still be sitting there staring like a deer.”

“Hmph,” the noise is close to a chuckle.

“What are we getting in town?” He asks.

“Oh, uh, pharmacy first,” you answer, “then I wanted to see if the market's selling honeydew.”

He hums and backs out. You hold onto the door as the truck rolls over the bumpy ground. It's not what you planned but it's still a break.

[miscellaneoussmp]

I can see the Forever and Bad wedding now, actually. And it goes something like this (Edit: This fic was made before January 5th 2024.):

It's decorated in black and white, straight down the middle. Those in bright smiles sit in the bright white! What a happy wedding this is! It's perfect! Those without smiles sit in the darkness. This isn't a wedding at all. It's going to end up a funeral.

Cellbit stands on Bad's side, even if he's supposed to be Forever's best man. He can't bring himself to stand in the blinding white. They aren't his friends. Those aren't their smiles. He misses their actual smiles. He wishes he could stand with them. He's wearing almost all black. This feels like a funeral.

Jaiden stands at the altar. She's the officiant. Her smile is small, and she hates the fact that she feels like she's almost forcing it. She is wearing grey, a mix of the happy couple's colors. It's a happy occasion, a wedding. Why are people crying like it's a funeral?

Foolish stands next to Cellbit. He's wearing black at Bad's request, afterall he's Bad's best man. He doesn't like that it feels like a funeral. This is his idea, but he doesn't like how sad it feels. He wishes he could stand in the white. He wishes he could pretend this is a happy wedding. He knows it's a funeral.

Pac stands next to Forever, where Cellbit is supposed to be. It's not perfect, but it's fine! He gets it! He really does! Cellbit just wants to support Bad, one of his oldest friends! His nails are digging into his palm. Why is that? Everything is fine! It's Forever's special day! His wedding! That's why he's wearing a different shade of white, to not outshine his friend. What a happy wedding!

Tina stands at the end of the aisle. She doesn't like wearing black. It's not typically her color. Mouse stands at the end of the aisle. She doesn't usually wear all black. She prefers black as an accent color. Tina is holding a wicker basket of flower petals. Mouse is holding a pillow with two rings atop it. Tina pretends not to notice the tears running down Mouse's face. Mouse pretends not to notice how Tina's smile looks so terrified. They're in the roles found at a wedding, yet they're dressed for a funeral.

Phil walks up the aisle with Bad in tow. He decided to be the one to walk their friend up the aisle. He's not used to wearing black, but he thinks it fits. He noticed how Bad hadn't talked all day. It's fine, he doesn't have to be happy. If it all goes well, this will become a funeral, not stay a wedding.

Forever stands at the altar, in front of Bad. He can't believe it! They're getting married! How perfect! It's perfect! Bad isn't smiling, though. That's okay! He'll start smiling when they're officially married! They didn't even stop the clock joke for his wedding, how rude. Jaiden's voice is really nice! He's so happy she agreed to be the officiant!

"If there is any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Etoiles stands from his seat, sword already drawn. He ignores the sound of other weapons being drawn and gasps and cries and sounds of people grabbing explosives. This wedding will become a funeral, it doesn't matter how. It's not truly a funeral if the end goal is almost like a rebirth, is it?

Quesadilla Island wedding tradition states that there should be at least one death and explosion at a wedding. Sometimes, people outdo their own traditions.

[guess-my-next-obsession]

In The Cold, Cold Night: Chapter One

pairing: cowboy/frontier!joel miller x oc (Dorothea) / unrequited tommy miller

rating: M (talks of death, bordellos, gender constructs, other wild west things, tommy is a cocky flirt)

wc: 7.2k

series masterlist | playlist

It was a hot and dry spring in Texas, the corn fields out in front of the Mackey family farmhouse dying underneath the brutal and unforgiving sun. John Mackey, the patriarch of his small, humble family, tried his best to conceal his worry over the season’s meager harvest, but his wife, Jessa, and his eldest child, Dorothea, or Dottie as her family called her, had a unique ability to see right through his hardened exterior to the vulnerable, frightened man inside.

Although she was a grown woman, her twenty-fourth birthday passing just seven months prior, Dorothea chose not to venture out from her parent’s watch like all the other girls in their small town had done years before. She liked the predictability of home—the sound of her father’s work boots hitting the hardwood after a long day in the field, the smell of her mother’s cooking, the loud chatter of her five younger brothers as they ran around the house and farm like they were wild animals. Though a part of her did crave more, it was a small enough part that she could ignore, fixing her brown eyes instead on taking care of the things she already had.

“Daddy!” James, the youngest of the clan at only six years, came hurtling into the kitchen as his father sat at the dinner table sipping on a fresh cup of black coffee, Jessa Mackey and Dorothea standing at the sink scrubbing this morning’s dishes. “Look what the lady at the store gave me and Ed.”

“Let me see what’cha got,” the gruff man said, lowering his cup and newspaper to the tabletop as he fixed his attention on his son.

James wore a wide, boyish grin as he reached into the front pocket of his dirty, denim overalls and pulled out a burlap sack, his tiny fingers pulling the drawing string loose so that he could dump out the contents on top of his father’s morning news.

“Well, what’s all this, now?” John said, catching a few of the tiny glass spheres as they began to roll off the uneven table.

“Marbles,” he said, full of wonder and excitement. “She even taught me how to play with ‘em.”

“Can you teach me?” he asked, setting the handful of marbles into the little boy’s hand.

“I forgot,” he smiled bashfully. “But Eddie—“

“I didn’t ask Eddie, now did I?” John smiled back. “Come on, figure it out. You learned once, you can remember.”

“Oh, will you leave him be,” Jessa scolded lightly, chuckling at her husband’s insistence as she walked over, drying her hands on a cloth before throwing it over her shoulder. “Where’s your brother?”

“Outside playin’ with Sarah,” James said, looking up at his mother with round eyes as she carded her fingers through his dust-covered brown hair.

“Who’s Sarah?” Dorothea asked as she dried her hands off on her apron, her brows stitching together.

“She’s new ‘round here,” her youngest brother replied. “She ain’t got any friends—“

“Doesn’t have,” John corrected, lifting his newspaper back up.

“How old is she?” Jessa asked.

“My age,” the boy said, a big toothy smile on his face. “May I go play with ‘em, mama?”

“Yeah, go on,” Jessa smiled and watched as her son ran out of the room with his bag of marbles in hand, the wicker screen door slamming against the wooden frame of the old home as he bolted through it. “I gotta talk to Maggie about givin’ him new toys every time I send ‘em over.”

“She likes it,” Dorothea interjected. “Can’t have babies of her own, it only makes sense she spoils everyone else’s.”

“Don’t matter,” Jessa took a seat at the table to rest her aching feet. “We don’t need another tab.”

John’s eyes lifted to meet his wife as if he were daring her to continue.

“If that girl’s new, maybe I should bake a pie and take it over to her mama and daddy,” Dorothea suggested, sensing the building tension. “We got some blueberries that’ll turn any day now.”

“Sure, honey, go on,” John said, looking back to his paper.

“Don’t use more than y’have to, Dot,” Jessa ordered. “I need flour to make biscuits for supper.”

“I’ll only use what I need, ma,” Dorothea promised with a saintly smile, flashing her emerald green eyes at her mother before heading into the pantry to start out on her baking.

“Daddy!” Sarah’s squeal could be heard from a mile away, causing her father, Joel, to turn his head in the direction of the dirt road, spotting his daughter riding on the handlebars of of a brand new, candy red-painted bicycle, his younger brother pedaling towards the opened gate of their farm. “Look what Uncle Tommy got!”

Joel shook his head at the needless expense as he watched them ride up to where he stood near the porch, his white cotton shirt soaked down his spine from spending the better half of the afternoon fixing the old wooden steps.

“You ain’t got nothin’ better to spend your money on?” Joel asked as they came to a skid in front of him, Sarah hopping off the handlebars and skipping up to her father’s side to hug his hip, his hand smoothing her wild curls out of her face. “Where you been all day, missy? Out causin’ trouble?”

“I made friends with some boys down the road,” she replied, looking up at her father as he quirked an eyebrow.

“Boys, huh?” he asked, his tone playful. “You ain’t old enough to be hangin’ around any boys.”

“But daddy, they’re sweet,” she insisted, rounding her hazel eyes at him and poking out her bottom lip for good measure. Joel smiled and nodded, rubbing his hand across her shoulders.

“I’m just kiddin’, baby girl,” he assured. “What did y’all get up to?”

“We played cowboys on their farm,” she beamed. “I got to be the sheriff.”

“You know me and your daddy used to be cowboys?” Tommy said, leaning against the post of the porch.

“Well, I would’a caught you,” she said, tilting her chin up in confidence.

“Alright, sheriff, why don’t you go inside and wash off all this dirt before supper?” Joel ordered, patting her back as she begrudgingly obeyed her. “Cheer up, I’m makin’ your favorite.”

“Chicken soup?” she squealed again.

“You got it,” he nodded before waving at her to head into the house like he’d asked.

“If you’re gonna yell, yell,” Tommy sighed, taking a seat on the second step.

“I ain’t gonna yell,” Joel sat down with him. “But you can’t be goin’ around town showin’ off and spendin’ like that. We don’t need people pryin’ into our business and gettin’ the wrong idea.”

“It ain’t a crime to be a bounty hunter,” Tommy argued.

“Not when you’re workin’ for the law, but you and I both know we were about as far from the law as we could get,” Joel said. “Just don’t want people treatin’ Sarah bad because of what we did to make ends meet. That’s why we had to leave the last place, remember?”

“Yeah, I know,” Tommy nodded. “I just saw it and thought it would make droppin’ Sarah off at the schoolhouse easier on me, s’all.”

“Well, I ain’t gonna make you take it back,” Joel said, offering a soft smile, bumping his brother’s shoulder with his own. “Just…talk to me before you go out and buy somethin’ that pretty next time, alright? I might want one for myself.”

“Well, speaking’ of pretty,” Tommy nudged his chin forward in the direction of the gate, Joel’s eyes following his eyeline until he saw what he was so fixed on. Tan, freckled skin, a head of chocolate brown waves thrown up messily, a pair of bright green eyes and an equally bright smile heading up the dirt path to the porch.

“She here for you?” Joel whispered to his brother.

“I certainly hope so,” Tommy replied with a smile.

“Hi, y’all, sorry to interrupt,” the unfamiliar face greeted them as she reached the bottom of the steps, both men staring at her with a mixture of confusion and awe. “I’m Dorothea. My little brothers were playin’ with your sister earlier, and I thought I’d bring a pie over to welcome y’all to the town.”

“Sister?” Tommy asked, fixing a charming smile onto his face. “No sister here, but we’ll be glad to take that pie off your hands.”

“Oh,” she furrowed her brows in confusion. “I’m sorry, I guess I must’a—“

“You talkin’ about Sarah?” Joel spoke up, drawing her eyes to meet his.

“Yeah, I think that’s what her name was.”

“That’s my daughter,” he smiled.

“Oh!” Her eyes widened in shock. “I’m sorry, I thought—you look young, so I just thought—“

“No need to apologize,” he assured, standing up and unintentionally towering over her as he walked down the steps. “I had her young; I’m used to it by now.”

Dorothea smiled softly and nodded, her eyes lowering to the pie in her hands rather than at his dark, round eyes.

“Well, this is for y’all, then,” she said, holding the pie out for him to take.

“Thank you,” he accepted it and lifted the cloth covering the top, bringing the pie close to his nose. “Smells great.”

“It’s a family recipe,” she said. “I can give it to your wife if she’s around?”

“Oh—no,” Joel tensed, his smile faltering. “She, uh, she passed givin’ birth to Sarah.”

“Oh,” Dorothea’s eyes turned soft and sympathetic. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright,” he assured, flickering his eyes over to his brother who remained watching their new friend with eager eyes. “We’re about to have supper, you could join us? Let us repay you for the pie?”

“Oh, I wish I could, but my mama’s makin’ biscuits and gravy tonight and she’d throw a fit if I stayed out past dark,” Dorothea said, offering him an apologetic smile.

“Well, you’re always welcome,” Joel shrugged. “Your brothers, too. I’m sure Sarah would love it if her new friends stopped by.”

“I’ll let ‘em know,” she smiled. “Well, I should be goin’.”

“You need a ride?” Tommy asked, standing up.

“Oh, no,” she giggled. “I like the walk, gives me a little time away from all the noise.”

“Alright,” Tommy smiled. “You said your name was Dorothy?”

“Dorothea,” Joel corrected.

“That’s right,” she chuckled. “And y’all are?”

“I’m Tommy, he’s Joel,” Tommy said.

“Well, Tommy, Joel,” she smiled as she turned her eyes from Tommy to meet Joel’s again. “It was nice meetin’ y’all. Enjoy that pie.”

“I’m sure we will,” Joel smiled. “Get home safe, now.”

“Everybody knows not to mess with me,” she smirked as she began backing her way towards the gate.

“That so?” he smirked.

“Yep,” she giggled. “Bye now!”

“Bye,” Tommy called, waving at her as she turned around and started down the road in the direction she came. “What a looker.”

“She wasn’t lookin’ at you,” Joel teased.

“What, you think she was lookin’ at you?”

“No,” he replied defensively as he started up the steps. to head into the house, Tommy trailing closely behind.

“You got a crush, old man?”

“Twenty-eight ain’t old,” Joel argued, setting the pie down on the dinner table.

“Older than me,” Tommy quipped. “Older than her.”

“Alright, well since you’re so young and spry, why don’t you go out back and fetch us some milk for supper, charmer?” Joel teased, grabbing the cloth from the pie and swatting it at his younger brother.

It was Sunday afternoon, Joel and Tommy finished with the week’s chores and labor, Sarah skipping down the road with them as they made their way to town to look around at the shops and stands.

Joel, as always, kept his pistol tucked into the holster on his belt, his eyes scanning his surroundings for any potential trouble while desperately hoping none found him.

Joel had lived a lot of life in his twenty-eight years. He started out as a ranch hand to his father, Tommy just old enough to form a sentence while his older brother was expected to go out and tend to the horse, sheep, and cows at five in the morning. School wasn’t a priority to his parents, but learning to take care of the ranch was, to them, as essential to living as breathing.

Joel was fifteen when his father passed from typhoid fever, his mother following shortly after getting caught in the middle of a shoot out in town, leaving him to not only take care of the ranch, but his eleven year old brother as well.

Two years later, Joel and Tommy got swept up in the bounty hunting lifestyle after seeing how much the sheriff was offering for an outlaw on a wanted poster. They bid their ranch goodbye, packed up what little they had, and rode off into the desert to start anew, not knowing a single thing about what was to come.

Though their endeavors started out lawful, a then-seventeen year old Tommy quickly grew bored of their meager earnings and convinced Joel to abandon the lawful bounty hunting in favor of working with outlaws, the two of them hunting out sheriffs and their own people instead.

This was how Joel met Sarah’s mother at the young age of twenty-one. She was ten years older than him, working in a bordello Tommy insisted on staying at for the night during one of their hunts. Joel was hesitant at first, but quickly found his footing once he spotted her across the room. She had dark skin, rich, brown eyes, and a figure like he’d never seen before. He was already hooked then, but once their visits grew more frequent, he realized it was more than just a drunken lust he felt for the woman. He loved her. And when she fell pregnant with his child, Joel took her down to the town church and married her before riding off again to go on his next hunt. He only saw her two more times before Sarah came, and then she was gone.

Joel tried to go back to his old life, but found it difficult to do what he needed to do with a baby in tow. The boys settled down in Utah for a while, but Tommy’s antics at the local saloon had them packing up and heading west to California. Tommy had some luck there panning for gold, but just as quickly as the last time, he got into a brawl and the three of them were forced back on the road. It went like this for a while, up until just a few months ago when they were talked out of moving out of their old family ranch by a wealthy man looking to buy it for a handsome sum, the money too appealing for Joel to decline.

That’s how they ended up here in the Middle of Nowhere, Texas.

Joel liked it here. It was quiet, there wasn’t any trouble, and everyone seemed to have an understanding that this place was for families, somewhere safe to keep your children in the midst of all this shooting and debauchery. Joel wanted to stay here, but there was a nagging voice every time he looked over at his reckless younger brother that told him it was only a matter of time before they’d have to pack it all up again and run off. He hoped this time, Tommy would learn his lesson.

“Daddy, can I go look at the flowers?” Sarah chimed as they reached the booming Main Street, her little finger pointing at a flower cart.

“Yeah, but don’t go runnin’ off too far,” he said, keeping a watchful eye on her as she skipped towards the daisies.

“I’m gonna go see about that wheelbarrow,” Tommy said, nudging his head in the direction of an old man’s roadside stand of junk.

“Anything that keeps you outta the saloon,” Joel said, his eyes still locked on his daughter as she chatted the ear off of the older woman selling flowers.

“Robert, you better stay out of there!”

Joel’s attention was turned in the direction of a faintly familiar voice calling down the street. There he spotted Dorothea, surrounded by five boys ranging from Sarah’s age to somewhere around her own. The eldest looking boy, Robert he assumed, waved her off as he continued ahead of them into the saloon and bordello, leaving her fuming as she tried to corral the three youngest to follow her while the second oldest followed in his brother’s footsteps.

“Dottie, look! It’s Sarah!” the youngest squealed, his finger pointing down the road at Sarah who was getting a flower pinned in her curls. “Can I go say hi?”

“Yeah, just stay where I can see ya,” she said, watching as all three boys ran off in Sarah’s direction.

Joel cleared his throat as he felt obligated to go over and say hello, but Dorothea spotted him first and gave him a polite nod from down the road before turning to head into the general store. A strange pang of disappointment hit him in the chest at her lack of interaction, but he quickly reminded himself that he didn’t want the responsibility of a friend. He had enough on his plate with his ranch, his daughter, and his brother.

“Daddy,” Sarah came strolling back over hand in hand with Dorothea’s youngest brother, both of them smiling cheekily. “This is my boyfriend, James.”

“Boyfriend, huh?” Joel gave the boy a playful once over and shook his head in feigned disapproval. “How about a boy friend?”

“Daddy,” she pouted and fixed a stern look on her face that looked every bit her mother.

“Alright, James, but I expect you to respect my daughter,” he said, playfully wagging his finger in the little boy’s face and poking his nose, earning a giggle.

“Yes, sir,” James smiled. “I think Sarah’s the love of my life.”

“Love of your life?” Joel asked, resting a hand on his hip. “You ain’t lived much life, son.”

“Six years of it,” he countered.

“Six years a long time to you?” Joel continued with a smile.

“Yeah. It’s my entire life,” the boy quipped, pulling a laugh out of Joel.

“I guess you’re right,” Joel chuckled. “Long as you treat her right, we ain’t gonna have a problem.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Those your brothers?” Joel nudged his chin in the direction of the two slightly older boys, one of them chasing the other with a flower he’d plucked from the lady’s cart.

“Yes, sir,” James nodded. “Ed and Bo.”

“And the other two?”

“Robert and Paul,” James said. “But they’re mean.”

“Yeah? They mean to you?” James nodded. Joel smiled and squatted down to be eye level with him. “Let me ask ya somethin’. One day, you’re gonna be big enough to be mean right back to ‘em,” James nodded. “That somethin’ you’re looking forward to?”

“No,” James shook his head.

“No? Why not?”

“I don’t like bein’ mean,” James said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Good answer,” Joel smiled. “I don’t want my daughter with somebody mean.”

“Boys! Come help me with these groceries!” Dorothea called from the shop, her eyes flickering to Joel as he stood up and turned to look at her. “They ain’t botherin’ y’all, are they?”

“No, ma’am,” he said, tipping the brim of his cowboy hat at her.

“Lord almighty, she’s a fine lookin’ woman,” Tommy appeared next to Joel, earning a stern glare from his older brother.

“She’s off limits,” James said, his own face scrunching up. “My daddy said so.”

“Well, your daddy hasn’t met me yet,” Tommy smiled. “She got a boyfriend?”

“No,” James replied defensively. “And she don’t want one neither.”

“What about a friend?” Tommy persisted.

“I’m her friend,” he said, crossing his little arms over his chest.

“Did you get the wheelbarrow?” Joel asked, desperate to stop his brother’s back and forth.

“Yep,” Tommy nodded.

“Good, now go on and use it. We need fire wood,” Joel said, tipping his chin towards the hardware store. Tommy sighed and did as his brother commanded while Joel urged both Sarah and James off towards the general store to pick up their weekly groceries.

“Daddy, can we get some blueberries to make another pie?” Sarah asked, pointing ahead at a pint of blueberries sitting on the table in the middle of the store along with the rest of this week’s harvest.

“I didn’t make the pie, baby,” he said. “Don’t know what else we’ll need.”

“Y’all talkin’ about my pie?” Dorothea asked, offering a smile to Sarah as she walked over holding a basket of fruit in her hand while her younger brothers carried the rest of the haul.

“You made it?” Sarah asked with delight.

“Yes, ma’am, I did,” Dorothea nodded. “You want the recipe?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sarah smiled. “I’ll make my daddy teach me.”

“Is your daddy good at bakin’?” Dorothea chuckled, glancing over at Joel who watched her carefully.

“No,” Sarah frowned.

“No, he doesn’t look the part,” she smirked at him, watching as a subtle blush grew on his cheeks. “Well, maybe I could come and teach you since your daddy ain’t so good.”

“Daddy, can she?” Sarah asked, tugging on her fathers arm.

Joel looked down at his wide eyed daughter and felt affection bloom in his chest for her, immediately caving in to her request. “Sure, baby girl.”

“Alright, you want me to show you what you need?” Dorothea spoke to Joel, bringing his eyes back to hers.

“Yes, ma’am,” Joel nodded, gesturing at her to lead the way.

“Gonna need flour, y’all got that at home?” Joel nodded. “Butter?” Another nod. “How ‘bout milk?”

“We got our own cows,” he said.

“Looks like y’all ain’t gonna need much, then,” she smiled. “All’s left is some blueberries, a lemon, some sugar, and…I think that’s it.”

“You think?” Joel teased, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“I know,” she corrected herself with a smirk. “I’ll come by tomorrow afternoon, if that’s alright by y’all.”

“Sounds alright with me,” Joel smiled. “I’ll make sure Tommy ain’t around to bother ya.”

“Oh, you ain’t gotta worry about him. I think he’s kinda sweet…in his own special way,” she shrugged. Joel lifted his eyebrows in surprise at the jealousy that sparked inside him at the thought of Tommy and her together.

As if on cue, Tommy walked in, his eyes scanning the room until he spotted the three of them.

“Well if it ain’t Miss Dorothy,” he grinned.

“Dorothea,” James corrected from the counter as he scooped up the final sack of groceries.

“My apologies,” Tommy smirked. “Guess I’ll have to spend more time around ya. Get the name to stick.”

“Alright,” Joel rolled his eyes and patted Sarah on the shoulder, guiding her towards the counter to pay for their hail. “We’ll see ya tomorrow, then, Dorothea. Bring that James with ya if ya want. Word is him and Sarah are in love. I’d hate to come between that.”

Dorothea giggled and nodded. “That’d be a crime, now, wouldn’t it?”

“You’re comin’ by tomorrow?” Tommy asked, leaning against the counter.

“Yes, sir,” Dorothea nodded. “Showin’ your niece how to make my famous blueberry pie.”

“Got room for one more student?” he asked. “I’ve been meanin’ to learn how t’ bake.”

“Oh, have you now?” she giggled. “I suppose you can join us, long as you pay attention.”

“I’m gonna be payin’ attention, alright,” he smiled. “Have a good day, now, Dorothy.”

“Dorothe—“ She stopped herself from correcting him again once she realized he was now doing it on purpose, her head shaking as she smiled at him. “How ‘bout you just call me “Miss” from now on? Can’t get that wrong, can ya?”

“Ain’t no fun in that,” he smiled. “I’ll get it one ‘a these days.”

“I’m sure you will,” she rolled her eyes before looking to Joel. “See ya, Joel.”

Joel tipped his hat at her and watched her walk off back down the long road headed towards her ranch, her horde of brothers following closely behind.

“You gotta mess with her?” Joel asked Tommy as he pulled out a few notes and handed it to the clerk.

“Least she’s a nice woman,” Tommy reasoned. “Could be goin’ after one of my women at the bordello like you—“

“Watch it,” Joel warned seriously, no trace of amusement in his eyes as they flickered to an oblivious Sarah. “That mouth’s gonna get you in trouble, Tommy. One ‘a these days someone’s gonna come along and do somethin’ about it.”

“They already tried,” Tommy chuckled. “I’ll take my chances.”

Joel only shook his head as he led the three of them out of the store, Tommy’s hands busied by the wheelbarrow hauling lumber while Joel carried their bag of groceries and Sarah worked on the lollipop the cashier handed over to her.

“Dot, come down and help your mama with hangin’ clothes!” Dorothea’s mother, Jessa, called up the staircase of their quaint farmhouse, interrupting her journaling.

“Yes, mama!” she called back, closing her books before making her way downstairs to tug her boots on before entering the mid-morning heat. She joined her mother out in front of the lawn as she sat scrubbing the dirty laundry on her washing board, a few sheets already hung up on the line.

“Thank you, baby,” she said, wiping her brow. “It’s hot out today.”

“It’s been hot out every day,” Dorothea commented. “How’re the crops lookin’?”

“Your daddy don’t bother tellin’ me anymore,” she said. “Half of me wonders if we wouldn’t be better off packin’ up and movin’ west. I hear there’s still plenty gold.”

“Who ya gonna get to mine for it? Daddy’s back can’t take it, and your two eldest don’t seem to care ‘bout nothin’ except goin’ to the saloon.”

“Don’t you wish we had that luxury?” Jessa said with a smirk. “I know I’d like to be able to run off whenever I want and drink the night away.”

“I don’t care much for the drinkin’, but I would like to know what it feels like to do whatever I want whenever I wanna do it,” Dorothea replied. “Instead we gotta ask permission anytime we wanna leave the house. Makes ya sad if you think about it too much.”

“I’ll tell you somethin’,” Jessa locked eyes with her daughter. “You ever feel like sneakin’ off for a night—maybe go see a pretty boy—you can count on me t’keep your secret. Long as ya tell me, I’ll watch out for ya.”

“You gonna lie to daddy for me?” Dorothea giggled.

“Lord knows I’ve done worse things.”

Dorothea quirked an eyebrow at her mother, smirking in interest.

Jessa ignored her daughter’s curiosity. “So this mean there’s a boy?”

“No,” Dorothea shook her head. “Not yet, at least.”

“Come on, now,” Jessa smiled.

“James’ new friend, Sarah, has an uncle,” she shrugged. “He seems interested.”

“But you ain’t?”

“I don’t know, mama,” she blushed. “He’s fine and all, but…he ain’t really what I’m lookin’ for.”

“Why’s that?”

“He talks too much,” Dorothea replied, earning a hearty laugh from her mother.

“You’re just like me, ain’t ya?”

“Sarah’s dad, however—“

“Dad? How old is he?” Jessa furrowed his brows.

“He doesn’t look much older than me,” she replied. “But he’s quieter. Doesn’t talk unless he has to. And he was sweet with James,” she said. “Thought it was cute.”

“But he ain’t interested in you like the brother is?” Jessa asked.

“I don’t think so,” she said, grabbing the last piece of wet clothing from her mother’s hands and wringing it out before hanging it on the line. “Either way, I don’t foresee any sneakin’ out in my future.”

“A little sneakin’ out would do you some good,” Jessa argued. “You’re too well behaved for your own good.”

“Someone’s gotta be,” she smiled and nudged her head in the direction of the house. “Alright, I gotta go change.”

“Where you off to?”

“Helpin’ Sarah make a pie,” she said.

“Mmhm,” Jessa smirked. “Well tell the uncle and the daddy I said hello.”

“Sure, mama,” she smiled back knowingly before skipping off to the house.

“There she is,” Tommy chimed as Dorothea walked up the steps of the porch, a sweet tea in his hand as he leaned against the doorframe.

“Where’s my student?” Dorothea smirked, tilting her head at him.

“Right here,” he said, gesturing at himself. “Ready to learn.”

“I meant my promisin’ student,” she countered, bringing a grin to his face.

“She’s out back with her daddy,” he said, tipping his head back towards the house. “But we could get started without her.”

“I’m sure you’d like that,” she chuckled. “I’m gonna go find her.”

“I’ll be right here,” he drawled, watching her as she walked down the steps and rounded the corner of the house.

Out back, she was met with the sight of Sarah filling the pigs trough full of scraps while her father brushed the mane of a chestnut horse, his white shirt pulling taut across the breadth of his shoulders.

“Hey, y’all,” she announced herself, drawing both pairs of eyes to hers.

“Dorothea!” Sarah chimed, abandoning her work at the pig pen to come skipping over. “Time for pie?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she smiled, her eyes trailing from the little girl in front of her to her much larger father as he walked over, his blue jeans clinging to his legs as if they were painted on.

“Miss Dorothea,” he tipped his hat at her. “You come to take this trouble maker off my hands?”

“You causin’ trouble?” Dorothea asked, looking back to the six year old.

“Daddy’s lyin,” she grinned.

“So I got a troublemaker and a liar on my hands,” Dorothea smiled, looking back to Joel. “Ya gonna stay out here, or ya gonna join us inside?”

“Ain’t gonna be much help, I’m afraid,” he smiled.

“You can be our taste-tester,” she shrugged. “And maybe you can keep that brother of yours on a leash. He seems particularly determined today.”

“I apologize for his forwardness,” Joel spoke sincerely. “He thinks he’s smooth ‘cause every woman he’s ever talked to has been eager. He don’t realize it’s ‘cause he paid ‘em to be.”

Dorothea laughed, her brows lifting in shock at the racy nature of his joke.

“I’m sorry,” he said, realizing himself. “Forget I’m talkin’ to a lady.”

“Am I that homely?” she teased. “Maybe I’ll wear my best dress next time. Get Tommy to remember my name and you to remember you’re talkin’ to a woman.”

“Yeah, daddy,” Sarah scolded. “Where’s your manners?”

“I must’a lost ‘em,” he joked.

“Well, me and Dottie’ll help you find ‘em,” she sassed, grabbing Dorothea’s hand and dragging her along back to the house, Joel smiling to himself as he followed them.

“So, cows, a horse, pigs…looks like you’ve got yourself a ranch,” she said, looking behind her as Sarah continued tugging her along.

“Yep,” he agreed.

“You don’t talk much, do ya?”

“Try not to,” he said.

“Any reason?”

“Find people like me a little better when I keep my mouth shut,” he replied, earning another laugh.

“Someone must’a trained you right,” she joked. “Tommy on the other hand—“

“Y’all talkin’ ‘bout me?” Tommy spoke from the porch as the three of them ascended the steps. “Good things, I hope.”

“Hope is a dangerous thing,” Dorothea quipped, earning a chuckle from Joel, the sound drawing her eyes away from Tommy and over to him.

“I don’t get it,” Tommy said, smiling even though his brows were drawn together.

“Nevermind, let’s just get workin’,” Dorothea said, gesturing for him to lead the way.

“He ain’t too clever,” Joel leaned over Dorothea’s shoulder as they filtered inside, whispering to her, and she would’ve laughed if she hadn’t been so caught off guard by his proximity.

“You know anythin’ ‘bout makin’ a carrot cake? My mama used to make the best, and I haven’t found anythin’ quite as good since,” Tommy called from the kitchen as Dorothea remained frozen in the entryway, her eyes watching Joel as he squeezed past her to join his brother and daughter inside the small kitchen. “You hear me?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Dorothea cleared her head and composed herself as she walked in to join them. “Carrot cake, ya said? I don’t think I’ve ever made one.”

“Well, you had to have a flaw,” Tommy drawled.

“I’ve got a few,” she countered.

“Like what?”

“I’m very particular,” she replied.

“‘Bout what?”

“I like the quiet,” she said, smirking at him. “And I get real bossy.”

“I can shut up,” he said. “And I can follow orders.”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” Joel groaned, sitting down at their round dinner table.

“Alright, then, if you’re so good at shuttin’ up and followin’ orders, how ‘bout you go sit down and stay quiet while me and Sarah get to work.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Tommy grinned, walking over to the table by the window to sit with his brother while Dorothea and Sarah got to work. “She likes me.”

“She hates you,” Joel corrected.

“What d’you know about women, huh? When’s the last time you talked to somethin’ as pretty as that?”

“Just a few minutes ago in the yard,” he said, lifting an eyebrow to signal his victory.

“You think she likes talkin’ to you anymore than me?” Tommy asked with a smug smile. “I can’t imagine how crazy someone’d have to be to find you interestin’. All you do is take care ‘a the ranch and complain.”

“I didn’t say she liked talkin’ t’me,” Joel shrugged. “Just that we talked.”

“Yeah, well, leave the talkin’ to me,” Tommy said. “I’ll have me a wife come winter, you’ll see.”

“She ain’t gonna marry you,” Joel chuckled.

“Why not?”

“You ain’t committed to nothin’ but causin’ trouble,” he said. “No amount ‘a pretty’s gonna change ya that quick.”

“Well,” Dorothea smiled across the table at Joel as he hauled a bite of her and Sarah’s creation into his mouth, Tommy long gone and out at the saloon while Sarah laid in the living room fast asleep from two thick slices of pie. “Any good?”

“Ya know it’s good,” he said, flickering his eyes at her before dropping them back to his plate.

“Is it always like pullin’ teeth with you?” Joel furrowed his brows as he looked at her again. “Givin’ a sincere compliment?”

“It was sincere,” he said.

“Guess I’m expectin’ somethin’ more like Tommy’s reaction.”

“What, fallin’ to my knees?” he joked, cracking a half smirk. “My knees are busted. I’ll have to praise you from my seat.”

“You and him are so different,” she commented, watching him as he ate. “He’s…wild. Too wild. Reminds me of my two brothers.”

“The ones who went into that…establishment?” he asked, wiping his mouth on a scrap of cloth he’d fashioned into a napkin.

“Yeah, them two,” she nodded. “You ever…been to one ‘em?”

Joel froze a bit, his hand pausing as he lifted a glass of milk to his mouth for a sip. “You askin’ me—“

“I just wanna know what they’re like,” she shrugged. “What they do.”

“You’re better off not knowin’.”

“Well, the men always seem to leave happy,” she said.

“They sure do,” he blushed and brought his cup the rest of the way to his lips, taking a swig before setting it down. “But I ain’t completely sure if that’s somethin’ you need’a know about.”

“Why is it that you boys get’a have all this fun and us girls are supposed to stay home and bake pies, sit and wonder what y’all are doin? What if I wanted to go into a bordello?”

“I ain’t sure it’s they’d know what t’do with ya,” he chuckled.

“Is it—are they…makin’ love?” she whispered the last line, causing Joel to choke on his bite, his fist pounding against his chest to clear it.

“I—“ He shook his head, lost for what to say. “I don’t know that I’d call it that.”

“But they are…sleepin’ together?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But they ain’t doin’ no sleepin’.”

“And that’s where Tommy ran off to?”

Joel hesitated for a moment but nodded.

“Well, then I know for certain I don’t want him,” she said, looking at her plate.

“You don’t like…those kinda men?” he asked, recalling his own past.

“I don’t like men who get around,” she clarified. “If a man wants me, I better be the only one. But so far, I haven’t met a man willin’ to hang up his hat.”

“They’ll grow outta it,” he said.

“Did you?” she asked, knocking his boot under the table with hers.

“I had my day,” he said, locking eyes with her. “Sarah’s mom—she, uh—I met her in one of those…places.”

“But you married her.”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Never liked two-timin’.”

“Well, there’s still hope to be had, then,” she smiled. “Just hope I’m still young and pretty by the time these boys decide t’grow up.”

“How old are you?” he asked, leaning back in his chair.

“I’ll be twenty-five on Christmas,” she said.

“Christmas, huh?”

“Yeah, makes it easy on my mama and daddy,” she joked. “What about you?”

“Twenty-eight,” he replied. “Twenty-nine in September.”

“Birthday just passed, then,” she said. “I’ll have t’bake you a belated birthday cake.”

“You tryin’ to win me over with food?” he flirted, just to test the waters.

“I didn’t know I was tryin’ to win you over,” she smiled.

“I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

“Your brother would,” she countered.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

Dorothea sat there watching him with a smile, searching his eyes for any sign of a cruel joke being played on her but found none. Even still, she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do in this sort of situation. She’d been flirted with for half her life, but was never interested enough to flirt back. Until now.

“I guess I should be goin’ off,” she said, swallowing her feelings for the man in front of her out of sheer fear of falling flat on her face.

“You gonna get home alright?” he asked, standing up when she stood to carry her plate to the sink. “Could take the horse.”

“No, I’m alright,” she assured with a smile, turning around to find Joel right in front of her, his chin tipped downwards as she looked up into his molasses brown eyes. Though she remained breathless, she couldn’t help but let out an airy chuckle as she lifted her hand to press it against the firm wall of his chest. She didn’t push him away, she simply rested it over his heartbeat to feel for a similar rhythm to her own. “You’re awfully close.”

“Would’ya like me to step back?” he asked, his eyes darting across her features, admiring the curve of her button nose.

“No,” she replied, what was supposed to be playful turning into a whisper as she watched tongue peek out and swipe over his bottom lip. She couldn’t help herself but to want to trace the line, too, her hand raising to rest over his bearded jaw while her thumb ghosted across the bow of his lip. “Never kissed anybody before, y’ know that?”

“S’easier than you’d think,” he whispered back, leaning down to slowly fill the gap between their lips, Dorothea’s eyes fluttering shut as she splayed her hand over his cheek while the other lifted to bury her fingers in his curls.

Joel hummed into the kiss as his lips landed against the pillowy softness of her pout, his chest pressing to hers as he pressed her into the counter behind her, his hands gripping the edge of the rustic wood.

Dorothea’s brows laced together as she tried to keep her head above water in this sea of him. He tasted like the pie she spent all afternoon baking and a little bit of whiskey, the warmth of both heating her skin up as she melted into him.

“Daddy,” Sarah called from the other room, her tiny voice thick with sleep. Joel pulled back first, leaving Dorothea to chase his lips with her eyes still shut. He smiled at the sight and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, pulling her out of her haze.

“I gotta go take her t’bed,” he whispered, his voice raspy in her ear as his lips came to rest there. “Wait for me.”

Dorothea couldn’t speak, her olive colored cheeks turning a shade of red as she watched him walk back and out of the room, his voice soft as he spoke to his daughter, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her down the hall

She stood there resting against the counter, her hand resting on her heated cheeks, smiling at the wood beneath her feet.

Was this what it felt like to want somebody? Did it always feel this good? A blood rush to the head?

Joel found his way back into the living room a few minutes later, finding her in that same spot, still spinning over his touch.

“I…hope that was alright,” he said, seemingly catching her by surprise, her eyes jumping away from the floor to meet his. “I hope I didn’t…assume—“

“I think ya did, just a little bit, but that’s alright,” she smiled, walking over to meet him in the middle of the room, her hands sliding over his chest to loop around his neck. “You assumed right.”

“Tommy ain’t gonna like this,” Joel warned, resting his hands on the small of her back.

“He doesn’t got any claim over me,” she replied, her eyes flickering back to his mouth. “Y’know, your lips are softer than they look.”

“That supposed t’be a compliment?” he smiled and she nodded. “Well, thank ya, ma’am.”

“I like when you call me that,” she grinned. “When you use those southern manners.”

“Yeah?” he grinned back, leaning down to brush his lips over hers. “You like when I’m quiet and polite?”

She laughed softly and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Like that you know when to talk and when to shut up.”

“Then I’ll shut up now,” he said, smiling into the kiss as he squeezed her closer, his tongue swiping across her bottom lip before grazing the tip of her tongue. Dorothea moaned into the kiss, the sound causing Joel to short circuit and pull away, his forehead resting against hers. “You gotta go home.”

“Yeah,” she nodded, still breathless.

“Come see me tomorrow, if you got the time,” he said, pulling back to comb his hand through her brown waves as they hung loosely down her shoulder and back.

“I’ll see if I can sneak off,” she grinned, stepping back from his embrace to walk out the front door to his porch.

“I’ll see ya,” she said, biting her lip as she turned on her heel to walk down the steps of his porch.

“Bye, Dorothea,” he smiled to himself, tucking his hands in his pockets and leaning against the doorframe as he watched her frame get tinier and tinier as she walked down the long, dirt road until she disappeared out of view, taking the sunshine with her.

[lordoftheringsmusical]

Hi!

For some of the early watermill performances of the Lotr musical they had these special stamps that they put on peoples’ arms to designate them to a seating section, and I didn’t manage to get a photo of the design. I thought I’d ask around here if anyone had a photo of the stamp design or if anyone could remember what it looked like?

Thanks in advance! Love the blog, this musical was absolutely the greatest thing I’ve ever seen and it’s great to find others that love it too ✨

Hi there!

Thank you so much!! Running this blog is bringing me endless joy, not least because people like you are sharing their found memories of this beautiful show with me <3

(The wicker ring design was used throughout the Watermill run to help audience members find the entrance closest to their seat and ensure a swift move from the garden into the theatre during the show.)

Here's a screenshot from the Watermill Theatre's Access Pack for the show:

And here's how the stamps looked like 'in real life'; screenshot taken from MickeyJoTheatre's vlog:

I didn't take a picture of my own stamps either, but iirc I had black and red...? Not entirely sure anymore, though.

[dellalyra]

Just had a thought about gojo and reader doing pregnancy shopping while she was pregnant with Aiko. I feel like gojo would pick out the stupidest things and be like "this would be so cute!" And reader is like "im gonna divorce you, put that down". And idk, maybe reader showing megumi all the stuff they got and megumi just being a happy boi for once cause his parents are excited

𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 - 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗻𝗲

𝘈/𝘕: 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘮 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘮𝘱𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘪𝘭𝘺𝘴𝘮 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘔𝘌𝘓𝘛𝘌𝘋 𝘔𝘠 𝘏𝘌𝘈𝘙𝘛

𝘊𝘞: 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘯𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘺, 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬, 𝘣𝘪𝘨 𝘣𝘳𝘰 𝘮𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘪

Recommended Listening:

Tongue Tied - GROUPLOVE

Babydoll - Dominic Fike

“Princess! We have to get this! Look!” Satoru says as he bounds up to you with a tiny white onesie in his hands. You rest your hand on your bump and read it.

I’m proof daddy doesn’t play video games all the time.

“Put that back or I’m divorcing you.” You point at him and waddle away, being 8 months pregnant makes movement almost as difficult as dealing with a hormonal Nobara.

He trails behind you with a pout, after putting the cursed item away at your behest.

“Oh, ‘toru - look!” You show him a set of tiny pyjamas with small forest animals printed on sage green, with tiny matching socks.

He just widens his eyes behind the sunglasses and puts it in the now overflowing shopping cart.

He then leans over to another section and begins to coo - a tiny, little dressing gown, fluffy and dark blue with tiny yellow ducks printed on it and a hood with a duck bill on it.

This was your turn to just wordlessly put it in the cart, your son just had to have this.

After hours more, Satoru is loading the car with about 20 shopping bags, with delivery arranged for a beautiful dark wood gliding crib and wicker Moses basket. He also insisted on a sleek, black baby carrier he could wear that would match his uniform - why he insisted on it matching, you’ve no idea.

After plopping into the passenger seat, you turn to him.

“What about Daichi?” You ask him, resuming the 7 month long conversation on baby name possibilities.

“Nah. Had a great uncle Daichi, he was an ass. What about Hotaru?” Satoru added.

“We will constantly get asked if we named him after Hagenezuka from Demon Slayer.” You joked.

“Kentaro?” You propose, after a beat of contemplation.

“Princess, you’re having my baby - not Nanamin’s.”

Satoru smirks and you laugh, then he turns to you.

“Ooh! What about Rei?” He smiles, obviously liking that one.

“I like that one. I’ll put it on the list. Keep the creative juices flowing, c’mon!” You swipe and put it on your notes app filled with name ideas.

“Me too. Jin?”

“It’s pretty, but it was Itadori’s father’s name.” You nod.

“Hmm…” he’s silent as he takes the turn to your cottage.

“What about Akio?” He says, an air of something wistful in his voice.

“Akio. Akio L/N Gojo.” You mutter to yourself, something tingles in your chest as you hear it.

“Google what it means, princess, cos’ I have no idea, just liked the sound of it.”

So you do, and you smile at the result.

“Bright. Akio means bright. I -” You’re smiling now, but your sentence gets interrupted as the as yet unnamed baby in question gives a little kick in response. You giggle as Satoru looks at your belly smiling.

“Well, the kids spoken - that’s going on the list.” You say patting the top of your belly.

“I still don’t understand why we can’t call him Mochi.” Satoru pouts.

Later that evening, Megumi arrives home for the weekend from school and you and Satoru usher him into the nursery you have been working on together. His eyes widen to the size of saucers at what he sees - he knew you guys would create the most extra nursery possible, if your track record of decorating his and Tsumiki’s rooms were anything to go by. At age 11, Tsumiki decided she wanted an underwater themed bedroom and the next weekend, with the DIY help of uncle Nanamin and Yaga, and moral support from behind a glass of wine from Aunty Koko - the room was complete. The ceiling was patterned with waves, there were dolphins painted on the walls, floating sea turtles hanging from the ceiling and the bed was surrounded in a canopy of sea green tuille. Tsumiki barely left the room for weeks. Megumi had sheepishly asked for an ‘animal room’ when you had asked him what he wanted after you all moved to the cottage. The then 7 year old was greeted with the most fantastical room. His bed had a canopy of large leaves covering it, with a long plush snake hanging around them, the walls were a dark green with any animal you could imagine painted in random spots across the room, a chair was sitting in the corner where he could hide himself away by pulling down the cover which made the chair look like a frog, the walls were lined with books and all his accumulated toys and Lego - the books would later become only a fraction of what he owned when you got bored one weekend in a few years time and converted a spare room walk in closet into his own little library den.

You and Satoru opened the nursery door with a flourish, and walls of the deepest, richest blue welcomed him - patterned in small gold constellations, which when he looked closer - he could see most of them were labelled with their own names, he realised each constellation was the sign each family member was born under. There was yours, with Sagittarius beside it for Satoru. Capricorn was under them, his own sign, then Cancer for Tsumiki. Then the baby’s, who would be born under Leo. The more he looked, the more he say. There was one for Nanami, Shoko, Itadori, Nobara and the other students, your mom and dad. In the corner, nearest Satoru’s, was an unlabelled Aquarius sign, he didn’t need to ask who that was, a silent hope that from another world the Aquarian in question would watch over their child.

The ceiling of the room was covered in white cotton, mimicking clouds and the furniture that you already had was all dark wood, mostly family heirlooms from your side. You motioned him to sit in the rocking chair you had in their for nursing while Satoru dragged in bags and bags and bags of baby clothes.

You both enthusiastically showed him each and every thing you bought, you smacking a diaper on your husbands head when he snickered holding a white onesie which you had apparently threatened divorce over. You pulled out a jumpsuit of the fluffiest brown fabric, decorated with little ears at the top so the baby would look like a bear and you both cooed over it for ages, then Satoru took out two shoeboxes - both labelled Nike and showed him two pairs of white and green air force ones - one tiny, and one in his size.

“So you guys can match! Brother shoes!” He said, almost shoving both pairs in Megumi’s face.

A bundle of funny little hats and silly patterned socks were laughed over by you too, and as you both took out a bag with all of the newborn size clothes, he couldn’t help but smile. A proper smile, not just a smirk. He looked at you both, so painfully in love it made him cringe sometimes - and often forget that you’re actually 2 people, and not one. You were glowing, big round belly protected by one of your husbands hoodies and slippers on your swollen feet but just radiant - he knew his mom was beautiful, he heard his dad say it a million times a day, but you looked like a goddess now. Satoru, his dad, sat beside you, arm around your waist and not a blindfold or pair of glasses in sight, black sweatshirt and grey sweatpants in place of the usual uniform and real smile on his face too - no smirk, no teasing grin, no grin laced with sharp intent, just smiles and eyes so bright and full of joy they almost blinded.

Megumi looked at the shoes in his lap. One pair in his size, 11, and the other barely the size of the palm of his hand. He was getting a baby brother. It truly hit him in that moment, in a few weeks time the tiny life that you two created would enter the world and he knew that any combination of you and Satoru’s genetics would only make for the most beautiful, caring, loving, powerful and world-changing person ever. He was never vocal with his love or emotions, but he knew you guys knew. How much he loved you both (even when Satoru really pisses him off, you chaotically whirlwind into a room or you both try to rope him into one of your dual-minded hairbrained schemes). You had both only been 19 when he and Tsumiki entered your lives, and sure, you hadn’t always known what the hell you were both doing - both you two were the best parents kids could wish for. He knew that lil’mochi was going to be so loved, by him included.

He noticed he was smiling at the shoes, in his own world when you ask him.

“Okay there, ‘Gumi?” You smile, folding up some small pieces of clothing.

“I got the right size, didn’t I? Surely you can’t grow more! You are absolutely forbidden from being taller than me. Or you’re grounded. Til’ - til’ college.” Satoru says with absolute resolve.

“I’m not going to outgrown you, Daddy Long Legs. I’m just… excited.” He says, raising his head so you both can see the smile on his face. You nearly gasp, smiles like this are rare from the boy.

“It’s gonna be awesome, having a baby around. Itadori already talks about babysitting. I think - I think being a big brother is going to be fun, yaknow?” He finishes. Satoru’s hand tightens on your waist in a silent show of ‘this is an important moment, isn’t it?’. With his hand where it is, he feels the flurry of movement as the baby moves around.

“Seems like someone else is excited about you being a big brother, kid.” Satoru says, nodding toward the bump.

“He’s already communicating. God, he’s gonna talk as much as you two isn’t he?” Megumi says, snorting a laugh and rolling his eyes - sardonic humour coming back.

“Whatever he is, he’s going to have the world’s best big brother, now C’mere, help me fold these because if I try to bend down I won’t get back up - I haven’t seen my feet since May.” You laugh, as both your boys join you in preparing for the little one soon to arrive, as a family about to expand.

[orqheuss]

Not yet corpses (still, we rot)

(Ominis Gaunt/Sebastian Sallow/GN!Reader HURT/COMFORT)

Summary:

For a moment, everything felt still. Silence consumed the space, sucking all the air out of the room like the tide as a tsunami made its way towards shore. All Ominis could hear was the harsh ringing in his ears and the startled gasp from his counterpart behind him. Panic began to crawl its way into his throat once more. Sebastian’s heart stuttered in his chest, his words forcing themselves out around the lump that formed under his jaw. “Oh, dear God…” *** What were the boys doing while you were saving Hogwarts? *** Contains spoilers from the game Title from the song "Dirt and Roses" by Rise Against

Word count: 6k

AN: I’m moving all of my fics over from Ao3 to make them more accessible! These are my fics.

TW: - Blood - Gore - Anxiety - Detailed descriptions of injury - Near death experiences - Claustrophobia (only for a little bit, tho. I have it too and that's all I could write, lol) 

“Knight to E5.” Sebastian quips, leaning back in his wicker chair, his arms crossed against his chest and a smug smile tweaking at the corners of his mouth. He watched the boy across from him regard the wizards chess board, the tip of his wand blinking that comforting red light he had grown accustomed to after years of friendship. It was probably not the most fair thing in the world to go against someone blind in a game that required sight over everything else, but that didn’t stop the brunette from trying his very best at beating his best friend in absolutely everything— he was nothing if not competitive. That being said, as much as he loved the idea of pulling one over on Ominis, the feat was nearly impossible . The blond was far too good. It didn’t matter if it was a game of gobstones, a duel in Crossed Wands, even exploding snaps, a game where sight was a necessity, all because of that blasted wand! The only thing that Ominis was truly bad at was potions, and even then he would likely still get an Acceptable on their OWLS. Sebastian felt that this round of chess was different, though. He could see the furrow of his partner’s brows in the low candlelight of the Undercroft, trace how his hand rested on his chin in puzzlement— fingers pinching at the skin there and stroking like tweaking an imaginary beard. He was currently in the lead, most of Ominis’ pieces resting broken on his side of the board. A truly violent game, that wizards chess. 

A light tisk came from his companions mouth, his wand still gently coasting over the top of the board just out of reach of the pieces, before his eyebrows slowly rose back to their normal position on his temple, a mischievous smile making its way across his cheeks and a twinkle of something unrecognizable, but all the more devious, in his eyes. He leaned back in his own chair, adopting a similar cadence as his brunette counterpart, his body language oozing confidence. Sebastian shifted in his seat, eyes casting uneasy glances between the boy and the board as sweat began to bead on his brow. Surely not, he mused— there was no way Ominis figured out a new strategy. 

The blond lightly chuckled, sensing the sudden nervousness of his friend. “Queen to E5.” 

Bollocks.

Sebastian was helpless to watch the white marble queen piece shift its way across the board towards his onyx black knight. The matriarch stood from her throne, bringing her chair around to her front and up over her shoulder, before crashing it down over the head of his brave steed. The brunette scowled at the board before tilting his chin to the ceiling, his head cracking lightly on the back of the chair as he leaned away and groaned into the musky air of the hideaway, his arms thrown upwards in a show of surrender. 

“You’re a bastard, Gaunt.” 

Ominis laughed, his form slumping forward over the little end table they were next to as he waved his wand, collecting all the broken pieces and placing them back into the chess box where they would self-repair. 

“No, unfortunately my heritage is legitimate.” He simpered, a light jab dancing on the tip of his tongue. “The juries still out for you, though, my dear friend. You have as much grace as a charging erumpent.” 

Sebastian gasped in outrage, his hand dramatically fluttering to his chest and resting over his heart like a damsel in distress. “Oh, I’m wounded! You’ve wounded me, Ominis. How ever will I recover— doomed to live a life of desolate mediocrity at the hands of my very best friend?” He slowly slid out of his chair, letting gravity work its magic and flopping dramatically on the floor, limbs sprawled out like a flattened lizard. 

The smaller Slytherin guffawed, a large grin splitting his face as he kicked his leg out towards the brunette, his shoe jabbing him harshly in the calf. “Quit it, you buffoon. You aren’t going to die because I beat you in wizards chess.” 

Sebastian sighed heavily, the back of his hand slapping against his forehead in overzealous woe. “Oh but I am! I will never be the same, never! I shall cover all of my mirrors so I never have to see my failurous face ever again— cover my head with a ghastly bag to shield the world from my shameful dereliction!” Small sounds of sorrow continued to fill the air around them, long drawn out “boohoo’s” falling from the brunette’s lips at a consistent rate. 

Ominis stood from his chair, stepping over the fallen idiot and plopping down onto the chaise lounge to their left, a book floating into his hand with the flick of his wand. “I think the entire student body would thank you for that.” 

The blond laughed at the incredulous noises of his companion, leaning his head to the left quickly as Sebastian’s boot flew through the air right where he once was and smacked into the pillar just beyond. The taller Slytherin got up from the ground, muttering obscenities under his breath as he limped over to where his shoe landed, taking the time to lightly smack the blond on the back of the head before rounding the space and throwing himself on the other lounge chair diagonal to the opening of the Undercroft. 

“You’re an arse, do you know that?” 

Ominis smirked downwards towards his book, lethargically licking his finger before flipping to the next page with gusto. “Oh yes, I pride myself in it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m only one to you— I’m quite nice to everyone else.”

Once his boot was securely back on his foot, Sebastian pulled out his pocket watch from his waistcoat; he checked the time, glancing in confusion at the gunmetal gate entrance of their secret space. 

“Hey, have you seen our charge today? They’re normally down here by now.” 

Ominis scoffed, a blank look crossing his face and a sardonic bite taking over his tone. “Do you ever think before you speak?” 

Sebastian met his gaze with a blank look of his own. “Where’s the fun in that?” 

The blond sighed deeply, raising a hand to his face and waving it in front of his unseeing eyes. “No, I haven’t ‘seen’ them today, nor have I heard from them.” 

Lifting himself to a seated position, the brunette’s brows scrunched together in puzzlement, slight worry tipping the corners of his mouth into a frown. You normally met them in the Undercroft after dinner so they all could hang out until curfew. Today, though, you were missing. Sebastian couldn’t remember if he had seen you today at all, come to think of it. You were supposed to have potions with him, but in his hazy memory he remembers that your stool was empty. Where were you? 

He turned his gaze back to the other Slytherin, confusion and concern lacing his tone as he spoke. “I haven’t either. Should we go search for them? They normally owl us if they’re going on a mission.” 

Another sigh. “Sebastian, I’m sure they’re fine. They’ve bested practically the whole wizarding world in a duel at this point— they can handle themselves. Let’s just have a quiet night, yes?” 

The Sallow boy threw himself back onto the chaise with a huff, his hands folding together and smacking against his abdomen. He knew that you were more than capable of taking care of yourself— he had seen it in action. Still, the knowledge of your fighting prowess did little to alleve his nerves. Each of the trials the Keepers were sending you on got more and more difficult— more dangerous. The thought of you getting hurt, or even worse, dying, made him feel ill. Ominis felt the same, they had talked about it before, but he was better at hiding it. Even now, though, Sebastian could see the telltale bounce of the blonds leg from nerves out of the corner of his eye. He was just as worried about you. You had told them all about the trials after they had stumbled upon you in the Undercroft a few weeks ago, bruised and bloody with at least five Wiggenweld potions scattered around you, as well as some gauze. Instantly the both of them had asked, nay insisted, that they go with you for safety, but you shut them down quickly— the trials were for you and you alone, no outside help. They reluctantly agreed to let you handle them, but they certainly weren’t happy about the arrangement, not in the slightest. 

The two sat in silence for a while, their eyes drifting every so often over towards the Undercroft gate like you’d step through any moment. Worry began to claw at their throats like a rabid animal begging to be let out of a cage. Ominis’ leg had picked up speed around the five minute mark, no longer paying attention to the book in his lap and instead turning his ears minutely towards where you would hopefully be coming from soon. Sebastian was right, you would normally send them a letter if you were going to be out for the day— you knew how they worried about you. Silence seemed to spread around the room like a thick fog, its tendrils wrapping around the boy’s heads and slithering into their ears, leaving an unnerving ringing behind. They were getting antsy, anxious energy pouring from them in waves.

Just as they were about to move and suggest looking for you again, a loud, deafening boom rang through the room. Crates tumbled to the ground with a crash as the ground rumbled below their feet. It was like the earth below them, below the entire castle, was breaking apart piece by piece. Paintings fell from the walls around them, tables shook and tipped over, school work and books spilling across the floor in rivers. Sebastian sprang from his seat, sprinting across the small space and throwing himself next to a shaking Ominis, his arms wrapping around the blonds head to shield him from falling debris. The tremors continued for what felt like years before everything halted in their tracks— silence filling the room once again and only breaking around the heavy, panting panicked breaths that left the two boy’s lungs. They slowly de-tangled themselves from the other, their gazes lifting up from the ground to take in the damage around them. Dust covered every surface, clinging to their clothes and hair and dyeing everything a light grey. 

Ominis spoke first, his voice whispering like he was afraid that if he broke the calming quiet everything would start all over again. “Are you alright?” 

Sebastian sighed shakily, his heart hammering in his chest as he grabbed the blond's hand and squeezed. “Yes, I’m fine. Are you?” 

He nodded. “What was that?” 

“I have no idea. Sounded like it came from under the school— an earthquake maybe?” 

Ominis shook his head, dust lightly falling from his hair and brushing against his shoulders. “In these parts? At this time of the year? Unlikely.” 

Sebastian furrowed his brows once again. “Then what could it be? Should we go check—”

The brunette paused, his blood running cold in his body as his skin turned a ghostly white as sudden realization hit him like a speeding broom. Ominis seemed to have come to the same conclusion, his hands shaking at his sides as they both turned towards each other, brown eyes meeting milky blue in barely hidden fear. Only one thought passed between the both of them: you were out there somewhere. 

The room began to shake again, the stone floor trembling with stronger aftershocks as more things began to slam to the ground around them. The duo quickly jumped up, their arms covering their heads from falling debris as their legs carried them as fast as they could go towards the exit and up the stairs towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts hallway. They quickly scrambled through the cabinet door, slamming it shut behind them as their feet nearly slid out from under them on the smooth tile floors of the main floor. Professors were running around, herding students left and right and ushering them towards their common rooms for safety. Sharp corralled them both, blocking their path from the rest of the school and their mad dash to find you amongst the chaos, and shoved them in the direction of the Slytherin common room, only turning away to look for more lost souls as the two boy’s got swallowed by waves of green and silver robes. Sebastian desperately fought against the stream of students, throwing elbows left and right as he swam towards the front and towards, what he hoped, was freedom from the crowd. A sharp cry came from his left and he shot his head in that direction, barely catching the sight of Ominis’ blond head as it disappeared in the hazard of students. His hand darted out, catching his friend’s shoulder before he could be trampled and pulled him to his side where he would be safe, clutching onto him like a lifeline in a storm as they were carried away, down the Grand Staircase and into the dungeons. Once safely inside, the ornate serpentine door slammed shut behind the students, bathing the room in startling silence once again.

The rumbling was muted this far under the black lake, only the sound of murky water splashing against the large bay windows of the common room filled the large, encompassing space. Students milled about, some retiring to their bedchambers while others sat on the various surfaces spread around the room. Tense whispers filled the air, questions and theories about what was happening swimming in everyone’s minds and entering through their eagerly listening ears. 

“Was on the moving stairs when it started, I was. It was quite funny watching all the paintings scramble from their frames before they fell.” 

“What do you think is happening? It seems to be coming from under the school.” 

“I saw all the Professors run towards the Astronomy wing. What do you think they’re looking for over there?” 

“Weasley had something in her hand before it all started— a bit of parchment. Looked as pale as the Bloody Baron after reading it. Wonder what it said?” 

“I heard one of the Ravenclaw's say they saw some goblins over by the east wing. Do you think they have something to do with all of this?” 

“Do you think they’ll cancel finals if half the castle is destroyed?” 

The two fifth year boys stood apart from the crowd. Sebastian paced the length of the room, going back and forth a number of times, wringing his hands in front of his chest and worrying on his bottom lip with his teeth. Ominis sat on the bench in front of the large floor to ceiling windows, elbows bent atop his knees and long fingers wracking through his normally perfectly styled hair. Anxiety oozed from them like a poorly made potion seeping out of the bottom of its cauldron. No one had seen or heard from you before or after the chaos. They had to get back to the Undercroft— it was the best place to wait for you. The brunette caught bits and pieces of the conversations flowing around the common room, and each one set his nerves alight just a little bit more. Astronomy wing? Goblins? Oh Merlin. He knew, whatever was happening had to do with Ranrok. If it had to do with Ranrok, then you had to be there too. Sebastian spun towards his friend, quickly pacing towards him with determined steps and nearly throwing himself onto the bench to the blonds left. He leaned closer, whispering conspiratorially, just low enough so no one else would hear. 

“Ominis, we have to get out of here. If we get back to the Undercroft, we can wait for them there. They know we’d be there.” 

The smaller Slytherin inhaled deeply, his body shaking with tremors stronger than those rocking through the castle. “How are we going to get out? The room is packed— there’s no way we could sneak out undetected.” 

The brunette hummed in thought, placing his hand on Ominis’ knee to steady his nervous jittering. It was up to him to come up with a plan, the room was much too loud for his companion to think clearly— multiple stimuli overwhelmed him easily. He racked his brain for a solution, every thought coming in small glimpses around the unending worry he felt for you. They’d have to be invisible to get out of the common room, there was no way another student wouldn’t see them leave.

A lightbulb sputtered to life in his mind. 

Oh. Oh. That would work. 

He squeezed the blonds knee before letting go and grabbing his wand from his robes. “I have an idea, follow my lead.” 

Sebastian cast the disillusionment charm around himself quietly, watching his fingers and legs disappear into a slight trick of the light. Ominis nodded, doing the same to his right. They both stood as quiet as mice and made their way through the throngs of silver and green clad students, dodging and weaving around flying limbs before all but running up the grand spiral staircase and skidding to a halt outside of their common room door. 

An eerie hush fell over the still castle dungeon. The rumbles had quieted down enough, only a soft vibration making its way through their shoes and shaking their bodies instead of the intense tremors that shook the building moments earlier. That had to be a good sign, Sebastian mused. 

They both took off towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts wing, their legs pumping as fast as they could go. The setting sun cast shadows across the floor, catching on each piece of debris and drawing the brunette’s attention to just how much damage had been done. Sebastian grabbed Ominis’ hand, pulling him along and calling out obstacles in their path. They leaped over fallen pillars, dodged around scattered armor, and slid around corners, their shoes loudly squeaking on the linoleum floor and nearly sending them tumbling into walls with their haste. 

Finally, they made it to the hidden cabinet leading to the school's underbelly. The blond threw himself against the door, unlocking it with a flick of his wrist and all but shoved the brunette down the stone steps. With a loud crack, the metal gate clipped shut behind them. They both heaved over, their bodies folded in half as their hands grasped onto their knees. Heavy breaths left their lungs from the exertion, sweat beaded on their brows from the heat of their bodies as well as from the intense nerves that shook through their bodies. Sebastian stumbled over to the table they sat around earlier, picking up one of the wicker chairs that had been knocked over from the ground and plopping himself down into it. Ominis collected himself, rolling his spine back into a standing position before beginning to pace. Each second of taciturnity filled his gut with more and more hysteric energy. His mind was going at the speed of light, horrible images of what fate could be befalling you slid behind his eyes like a demented moving picture show. All of his reserve flew out the window with the rest of his carefully curated apathetic coping mechanisms. His hands pulled at his hair, fingers digging into his roots and sending spikes of pain through his skull. The brunette carefully watched him from his vantage point, his eyes following each step of his companion as he made his way across the length of the rather large room. He could see the silvery tears that began to gather in the blond's eyes from his intense fear and called out to him in what he hoped was a calming voice. 

“Ominis please sit down, you’re only going to work yourself into more of a panic if you keep pacing like that. They’ll be here soon— everything will be fine.” He cringed at the tremors that were present in his words, hoping the young wizard didn’t notice it. 

The other boy turned towards the sound of his voice, quick as a whip, his eyebrows crinkled at his brow in dread and hands flailing around punctuating his snapped words. “What if they don’t, Sebastian? You heard the others in the common room, there were bloody goblins near the school! You know just as much as I do that that could only mean Ranrok is here. He’s probably the reason for everything that’s happening, and if he’s here that means that they’re down there, wherever in Merlin’s name there is, with him! They could be dead in some unknown tomb under the school and we would be none the wiser!” 

Blinding, distressed anger struck down Sebastian’s spine as he stood from his slumped position. He snarled towards the smaller of the two, “Don’t you dare even say that. They’re not dead, they can’t be. Don’t even put that idea into the universe!” He could see the blond flinch at his harsh tone, his hands moving to wring together. The brunette sighed deeply, willing his heartbeat to slow down and his anger to disapparate. He carefully made his way towards Ominis, steps loud but gentle like approaching a startled animal, and placed his hand on the other's shoulder. He pretended it didn’t hurt him that he felt the boy stiffen under his touch. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, but we can’t think like that. We have to stay hopeful.” 

The Gaunt boy relaxed slightly, his hands falling to his sides as he lowered his chin towards his chest. He sighed, “You’re right, it’s no use getting worked up. All we can do now is wait.” 

Sebastian carefully led him towards the lounge chair he was sitting on earlier, gently pushing down on his shoulders so he would relax into the plush cushions before joining him. He tilted his head back towards the ceiling, eyes closed as he silently prayed to whomever was listening that you’d return to them safely. 

***

The Undercroft filled with the sound of the large brass clock that resided in the Hogwarts clock tower, two loud clangs ricocheting off the stone walls that surrounded the space and filling the anxious ears of the two Slytherin’s that rested in its belly. Hours had passed since the tremors started; they long since puttered off and made way for the chilling quiet of the night. Both boys had not moved from their spot on the chaise lounge, each glancing longingly at the gate that led towards the castle hallways as they waited impatiently for their friend to return from what they could only imagine was a deranged war. They both fought valiantly against the sleep that clung to their bodies, each ticking second sending them closer and closer to sweet unconsciousness. They couldn’t sleep as long as you were still out there in Merlin knows what condition. 

Sebastian sighed for the umpteenth time, his hands running through his already unruly curls and sending them into all possible directions. His leg bounced at his side, the muscle flowing with his anxieties and only being released by the constant movement. Ominis stood once again from his side, shaking the sleep from his person and beginning to pace the space once again. He couldn’t keep still any longer, not when you’d been gone for so long. Blond tresses fell in front of his eyes from his incessant hands combing through it. He took deep breaths, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth in order to calm his rapidly pounding heart. The silence was driving him mad, every little sound that wasn’t you coming through the metal gate was like a bullet to his brain. He feared the worst for you— the idea of you leaving this world without a word made his chest feel like it was caving in on itself. 

The creak of the Undercroft gate broke both of the boys from their perturbed revelry. Sebastian sprung to his feet, head whipping to the side at the sound as Ominis spun on his heel and ceased his endless pacing as you stumbled through the doorway. 

The blond made a small sound in the back of his throat, relief palpable in the air around him. “Thank Merlin you’re okay, we were worried sick about you!” 

For a moment, everything felt still. Silence consumed the space, sucking all the air out of the room like the tide as a tsunami made its way towards shore. All Ominis could hear was the harsh ringing in his ears and the startled gasp from his counterpart behind him. Panic began to crawl its way into his throat once more. 

Sebastian’s heart stuttered in his chest, his words forcing themselves out around the lump that formed under his jaw. “Oh, dear God…” He breathed, his feet glued where he stood in shock as he took you in.

Ominis’ heart rate picked up exponentially. Tuning his ears to what was happening around him, he could hear the heavy breaths leaving both of his best friends with a renewed clarity. Your breathing was more stuttered than Sebastian’s, like you were struggling to suck in the air around you. Something was dripping lightly on the ground by your feet, the sound of its little plinks against the stone bounced around his skull like a small pebble skipping across the black lake. Pushing himself to focus more on the sound, the scent of copper filled his nose and sent a shiver down his spine. 

With a pained whimper, your legs gave out and you crashed to the hard ground with a resounding thump. 

Sebastian sprang into action, your noise of distress breaking him out of his stupor as he rushed over to your fallen form, calling out to the other boy in panic. 

“Ominis, get the Wiggenweld potions!” 

The blond stumbled over his feet, running towards the box in the far corner of the room that they filled with first aid equipment for moments just like this. The Sallow boy slid the rest of the distance between the two of you on his knees, arms outstretched to catch the top half of your body against his chest as the rest of your body gave in to gravity. He grasped you gently by the shoulders, moving your face into his vision and scanning you for injury. 

“What happened? Who did this to you!?” 

Your eyes were unfocused on his, black half moons coloring your bottom lids and the tops of your cheeks. Your voice was soft, barely loud enough for Sebastian to make out anything you were saying. He caught little snippets, mumbles of words like “Ranrok,” “repository,” and “Rookwood.” Blood dripped from a cut on your forehead, cascading down your incredibly pale face and staining the collar of your white button down. Your house cardigan was sliced open at the arm, showing a deep laceration stretching from the top of your arm to your elbow— Sebastian worried that if it was any deeper it would have hit bone. Your skin was almost grey from blood loss, your veins zigzagging under the flesh of your neck, chest, and arms like small strikes of lightning. He could see your knees through the rips in your trousers, the skin shredded and bruised, little bits of gravel dotting the wound like birth marks. One of your hands clutched your side, blood blooming through your fingers like a macabre rose bouquet. He carefully pried your fingers away to assess the damage and his breath caught in his throat, a sound of agony escaping from his open mouth. Through the hole in your shirt he could see multiple large, jagged slices in your side, each oozing buckets of blood. You winced as his fingers ran along your ribs, another groan of pain vibrating in your throat. He raised his eyes back to your face, irises dancing side to side as he tried to catch your gaze. Your entire body was shaking with adrenaline. He gently cupped your cheeks in his hands, forcing you to meet his piercing stare. His voice shook with dismay, the words leaving his mouth in a frenzy. 

“I need to look at your side, okay? I need to see how bad the damage is. Just nod if you’re okay with that.” 

You blinked slowly at him, a hand reaching out and wrapping around one of his wrists as you minutely nodded. Sebastian carefully took your hands into his and placed them on his shoulders for stability before unbuttoning the bottom of your shirt. His eyes were greeted with an enormous bruise, purples, blues, and blacks covering the skin of your lower left ribs and splintering out towards your chest. He sucked in a breath through his clenched teeth— you definitely had a few broken ribs. Your body began to slump against his, eyes fighting harder to stay open. He lightly slapped you on the cheek, frantically trying to keep you conscious. 

“Hey, hey! No you don’t, you need to stay awake. Stay with us, okay?” 

You laughed, wincing as your ribs shifted painfully, and smiled, your teeth stained a light pink from swallowing blood— you were absolutely delirious. “You should see the other guy.” Sucking in a deep, stuttering breath, your vision began to blur even more as your mind filled with numbing static. “I-I did it.” 

Sebastian took your face into his hands once again, watching you with bated breath. “What did you do? Please, what happened to you?” 

Your gaze focused on him finally, eyes softening as your smile stretched even wider. “I controlled it— the ancient magic, it’s inside me.” 

The brunette blanched, his brain needing a second to catch up with your words before he laughed incredulously, head shaking in disbelief. “We can focus on that later. Right now, we need to stop you from dying, okay?” 

Ominis appeared at his side, arms laden with as many potions as he could carry as he dropped roughly to his knees to your right. The oblong shaped vials clinked together as he haphazardly set them down on the ground, quickly drawing his wand and scanning you for any other injuries. Each pulse of his wand, each image blasted into his mindseye, sucked a little bit more color from his cheeks in horror. His hands hovered in the air next to your arm, shaking with barely contained terror as his mind fought whether to touch and comfort you or not touch you in case he hurt you even more.

His whole body vibrated, nerves completely shot to hell and his voice betraying every ounce of trepidation he held inside of him. "We need to get you to the infirmary! Why in Merlin's name did you come down here? You need a proper doctor, not us!" 

You shook your head weakly, your speech slurred as your head slightly lulled in his direction. "Knew you'd worry— had to make sure you both were okay..." A breath. "Wanted to be with you— to see you...one last time..." It was getting harder and harder to breathe— each breath felt like you slammed your lungs in a bear trap.

Sebastian shushed you softly, lips grazing the skin of your temple as he whispered into your hair. "Quiet now, save your strength. You're safe now, you made it to us." He cleared his throat, adopting as much determination as he could muster. "You aren't dying today, alright? We won't let you, you stubborn bastard."

He gently lowered you so you were laying on your back and your head rested against the cool ground of the Undercroft, pushing the hair sticking to your temple back so he could clearly see your eyes. In his haste to move you, he didn’t notice that they were closed. Your breathing left your parted lips at a dangerously slow rate; your body finally giving out from the intense pain pulsing through your system. White hot panic screamed at the front of his skull. 

“Hey! What did I say? Stay with us, dammit!” 

You didn’t budge. 

“Shit. Shit!” 

Uncorking one of the potions, he pressed it against your lips with one hand and tilted your chin back with the other, whispering prayers for you to wake up as the bitter liquid slid down your throat. Ominis bit his lip hard, muffling the hysterical pants that threatened to leave his lungs. The taste of his own blood filled his mouth as it steadily dripped down his throat. He pressed his fingers against the pulse point on your neck, feeling for your heartbeat. It was soft, but still there.

The blond grasped one of your hands in his while the other still held his wand, coasting the tip of it over your body like he did to the chessboard hours before to check the status of your injuries. Your fingers were so cold. 

Nodding towards the brunette, unseeing eyes never leaving your body and voice shaking, he shouted, “Give them another one!” 

Sebastian pressed a second potion to your lips, watching it flow down your open throat as color began to return to your cheeks. His heart continued to slam against his ribs painfully, threatening to break out from under his skin. 

The skin around your arm began to lace itself back together, the large cut that resided there turning into a barely raised scar— the same happening to the slice on your temple. 

Another potion.

The bruising around your naval began to disapparate, the skin around your ribs painting itself to match the rest of your complexion. 

He gave you the last of the potions, watching as the final scars of your battle stitched together and solidified at your side. Your flesh was red and angry around where the wound was, raised and burning to the touch, but no longer gushing enough blood to feed a small army of vampires. 

Both boys held their breath as they waited for your eyes to open once again, each one counting the seconds that you remained unconscious. The space behind their eyes began to sting with unshed tears. Dread nestled itself in their chests and spread through their entire bodies like a wildfire, both fearing the worst— that you wouldn’t wake up, that the potions didn’t help, that you were still dying. 

“Please don’t leave us. Not yet.” Sebastian whispered, leaning down and pressing his forehead against yours. His voice cracked with sorrow. 

After what felt like a century, your eyelids fluttered open and you took in the world around you. The taller Slytherin leaned back so he could catch your gaze, breathed a heaving sigh of relief, tears gathering in his lashes and streaking down his cheeks as he gave a weak, watery chuckle. He brushed his fingers through your blood slicked hair, a soft smile tweaking the corners of his mouth. 

“Hey, stranger. You scared us there for a second.” 

You smiled up at him, eyelids slitted but finally open, finally alive. “Can’t get rid of me that easily.” You croaked, your voice raspy. 

A harsh sob left their blond companion, his body finally slumping around the tautness he held since you entered the room. He rolled onto his back, legs thumping against the ground below as he brought his hands to cover his face, tears of pure, unbridled joy leaking through his fingers and wetting the dusty floor as light relieved laughs and muted curses spilled from his lips. 

“You both are going to send me to an early grave, I’m sure of it.” 

Laughing to himself, the brunette gazed down at you, his thumb lightly tracing along your cheekbone. “Let’s get you to the hospital wing, yes? Then you can tell us all about what happened.” 

You nodded against his hand, letting him pull you up to your feet and wrap his hand around your waist. Ominis stood with you both, doing the same on your other side after pressing a careful kiss to your hair, squeezing your hand in his. 

Safely tucked between your two boys, the three of you made your way out of the Undercroft and into the hallways of the castle you saved— the castle you called home.

***

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